Your Meast for Week 5 is Jahvid Best, who greatly improved the five inches per carry average he had posted for the season prior to Monday night’s victory over the Bears with 163 yards on 12 carries, including an 88-yard untouched touchdown sprint. Be sure to start him in fantasy this week when he follows that up with 38 yards rushing and one catch for 13 yards.
Any team that goes from record futility to burgeoning powerhouse within a three-year span is bound to become an instant media darling. And that’s fine. Unless you’re a fan of a division rival, you probably feel good for Lions fans. You might have already given one a patronizing pat on the head. They deserve it. So of course ESPN is gonna do their best to make us hate the Lions by blowing smoke up their asses.
Why would you include preseason victories in that streak? Would anyone have quibbled with that had Detroit dropped a meaningless preseason game? Nine wins in a row not impressive enough? Before you know it, ESPN is gonna air a segment explaining how Matt Millen really planted the seeds for this resurgence by drafting Megatron. Don’t think they won’t.
Also receiving Meastly consideration: Jason Pierre-Paul, Dwayne Bowe, THE BEN and Sebastian Janikowski.
Your Least for Week 5 is Matt Schaub, who threw a back-breaking interception in the final minute on a play where he could have just run the ball in for the go-ahead score. Oh, and the Raiders apparently only had 10 men in on defense for the play. Nice. Tommy Kelly will have to revise his gloating to reflect this even more extreme failure.
The Houston Chimera is already down Mario Williams for the season and things appear dire enough with Andre Johnson that the team felt it necessary to trade for the tattered remains of Derrick Mason, who now gets to lose to his former Ravens teammates for the second time in three weeks on Sunday. Dawww, this was supposed to be your year, Texans. Guess we’ll have to save all our condescending goodwill for the Lions.
Also being Leasty: Brandon Meriweather, Juqua Parker, the Bears O-line and Josh Freeman.