Hakeem Nicks has seen his production on the field diminish in 2012 compared to years past, which is something that tends to happen when a receiver sustains a broken bone in their foot just prior to the start of the season. Responding to concerns that he caught only one pass for 10 yards last Sunday and is on pace for his worst season of his NFL career, Hakeem Nicks on Thursday told the media, “Stats is for girls, man.” True that. And grammar are 4 nerdz!
The comments made the rounds, eliciting the ire of the masses. How much ire? I’ll leave that to the ladies to determine, what with their gender’s endlessly stereotyped love of mathematics and hard sciences. Nicks didn’t wait long to deploy damage control. A team spokesman later explained that Nicks was referring to a slogan used by his high school coach that suggested that players who care about their own stats are only trying to impress the ladies.
Does that high school meathead mantra apply to the pro game? Well, everyone knows that agents hoping for gaudy stats come contract time as well as the teeming hordes of fantasy football players are all women. Not a man in the lot of ’em. Women demand stats and pink things! Meanwhile, men want nothing but Doctor Pepper Ten and receivers making an impact in ways that aren’t reflected on the box score. Oh my, did you see that receiver’s sealing block on that sweep? I AM ENGORGED.
Because receivers just enjoy courting controversy, A.J. Green told the New York media that the Giants defense “has holes in it.” How could he tell? If only there were a woman present to offer statistical backing – that the Giants are 26th against the pass, for instance – to support that assessment.
Your early game slate, as rated for potential watchability by KSK’s patented four- and sometimes five-star system:
Oakland at Baltimore *
Denver at Carolina **
New York Giants at Cincinnati **
Tennessee at Miami *
Detroit at Minnesota **
Buffalo at New England **
Atlanta at New Orleans ***
San Diego at Tampa Bay **
[Pic via Shutterstock]