Original images via SI
Frothiest senator ever!
Eli didn’t ask for more ponies?
This is a gold mine. Too many great captions to mention. In respect to the rest of the Kommentariat, I’ll just go with my team and comment on the Dallas one. “You should totally come.” That’s gotta leave a sour taste in his mouth for sure.
It isn’t his fault he didn’t understand how bounty payments work now the coaches can’t use flip charts anymore . . .
Final pic: “I’m ready to go in, coach, just give me a chance. I know there’s a lot of riding on it, but it’s all psychological. Just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind. I’m gonna execute a button-hook pattern, super slo-mo.”
A very popular movie to quote, but well played sir.
Yeegads! Those are some seriously unsexy underpants.
It’s nice to see Lions fans wearing paper bags again. Some traditions just shouldn’t die via Josh Brent car ride.
Alt text/image title on the last one. Perfect.
I’d bet a million dollars that jort wearing Dolphin fan lady is a huge Jimmy Buffett fan.
And those jorts are barely concealing some mean Mekong Delta bush.
Dammit, Jimmy, I was having breakfast!!
I am just shocked that there is a girl wearing a Henne jersey, or is it an AJ Feeley jersey?
Coughlin will get a better performance out of Eli this week by putting an Elf on the Shelf on the sidelines.
1) I stared at the last one for a minute before I realized that wasn’t a man in drag but an actual woman.
2) And then it took me another minute to notice you misspelled “perfect.”
Uproxx usually picks their copy editors up in front of Home Depot every morning. They must have been busy with the Christmas trees.
Still utterly convinced everyone is using speech to text software. Human brains aren’t that fuck.
Its crazy that Miami fans are still wrapping themselves in the flag of that perfect season. Its getting to the point where some of these people weren’t even alive then, although clearly the jort-creature is one of the undead so they were there in some form. Also how are you going to never win a Super Bowl with Dan Marino? You were spotted 3-4 touchdowns every game for 15 years and still nothing….
Ok, hovertag on Santorum FTW.
I’m going to have nightmares about those jorts for months, possibly years. I hope you’re happy.
Rick, if you touch that railing, you might catch gay germs.
Santorum: *running up and down in place* Ow ewwww! Get it off me! Get it off me!
Stand still, there’s a spark in your hair.
“David Brooks To Teach ‘Humility’ At Yale”
Not actual headlines:
“Andy Reid To Teach ‘Clock Management’ at Penn.”
“Mark Sanchez To Teach ‘Throwing Accuracy’ at Columbia.”
“Antonio Brown To Teach ‘Ball Security’ at Carnegie-Mellon.”
“Mike Tannenbaum To Teach ‘Salary Cap Management’ at NYU.”
“Jovan Belcher To Teach ‘Overcoming Suicidal Thoughts’ at Cornell.”
/I can make that joke because my best friends commit suicide
Because they were your friends?
I have to say the rent-a-Mountie did bring that streaker down face first with authority after a 70 yard sprint. It was a thing of beauty. Also, the Bills defenders looked like they’d never seen that move before in their lives.
the one of the cowboys idea is so going to my wall now
complete with virginia slims in the pocket of the jorts….
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