D.C. fans have a thing for Christmas puns for their young savior athletes. When Stephen Straburg debuted, they had a Strasmas. Now it’s Griffmas. Give some of the other religions a chance to have bad gags on their holidays, guys. Anyway, there are few cities more desperate for something to be excited about with their sports teams, so it is joy and rapture around D.C., for their football team is .500 in December.
You can tell it was a huge win for Washington and one that meant a lot to the locals because there were even scattered mentions that FedEx Field, a stadium notorious for terrible atmosphere, terrible fan experience and lots of road fans, briefly at times during the game sounded like Redskins games used to at RFK Stadium. Which is to say, like people actually gave a sh*t.
Last night was one of the better Monday night games of the season. Since it was still kind of a plodding affair, it’s obvious that that isn’t saying much. Still, it was competitive until the end and the decision to mic up London Fletcher was a sound one.
No, I didn’t mean to write an audio pun at first, but I’m keeping it in there. Groan away.
Overall, RGIII had an all right night. While it may be a win that gets him the most praise, it was far from his best performance of the season. That said, he made plays when he had to and sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good, etc., cliche, etc. Even though the ball serendipitously bounced right to him, this is almost certainly Josh Morgan’s greatest contribution to the Redskins this year. GO PUZZLE PIECE!
It’s quite infectious. I think London Fletcher could make for a slightly friendlier version of the Terry Tate: Office Linebacker concept. Sure, he’d still intimidate, but it would be a more raucous and encouraging tone. What that means is him screaming LET’S GO LET’S GO LET’S GO until a task is finished. Once it’s done, he yells GOT IT! GOT IT! while swinging his arms violently in front of him.
Gruden is so comfortable with gimmicks and catch phrases, you’d think he would have a better line for Zak DeOssie snapping the ball high on what ended up being a missed field goal attempt by Lawrence Tynes. THIS GRUDEN, I’M GONNA CALL HIM THE MISSION STATEMENT BECAUSE HE’S ON A MISSION TO MAKE INANE STATEMENTS.
For just a tussle on the outside of a pile, the showdown between Linval Joseph and Will Montgomery had everything: kicks to the groin, attempts to snap someone’s leg, stomping. Yes, there should be many a Ginger Hammering from this.
Yeah, lots of London Fletcher stuff last night for some reason. Not that it’s undeserving. He’s a solid player who has flown under the radar in the league for quite some time. Not the worst thing that ESPN decided to give him some exposure.
Just kidding. David Whitley is still a racist asshole, but these are some horrible tattoo choices. What’s that? Some dude running around a tailgate shirtless in December outside FedEx Field has dumb tattoos? Yes, shocking, I know.
Why it’s important to spring for the Home Depot color match service. It’s one thing if you want to be that guy who paints himself, but you have to make sure to get the right shade of color. Err even slightly and you can send the wrong message. For instance, this guy is rocking Chiefs colors.
So Sean Locklear’s season is over, in case that wasn’t readily apparent from watching this.
The only things I really liked from this week’s Soundtracks were Kellen Clemens doing awkward arm thrusts after the Rams winning field goal in overtime and Thomas DeCoud doing this dance. Given the choice, I’ll GIF the dance. I’m assuming this was after he intercepted Brees in the end zone, but it might be even more enjoyable if it’s just at some random juncture of the game.
Bucket O’ Haterade
HODING AWFENCE I DO DECLARE…
You gonna triple team JPP? YEAH YOU KNOW ME
I much prefer Jagger’s intros for Wednesday Late Afternoon Cricket.
Garcon will only make spectacular catches. He don’t do that routine shit.
Chase Blackburn is every white guy stereotype ever
A research project? PV=ELI?
THESE REFEREES I CALL THEM PREPARATION H CAUSE THEY CLEAR UP THE PILES
This “Be A Cornerback For A Day” Redskins promotion is not going so well.
Coughlin on sideline to Manning.
“All those Santas you see in the city are just helpers for the real Santa. I told you that. I’ll talk to Cruz and tell him to stop teasing.”
Fletcher: “We need takeaway! We need takeaway!”
-Cruz goes for big gain
“This guy, Eli Manning, I call him Dave Moss because he’s never good with a lead.”
Son of Claymaker and Son
ROBERT GRIFFIN, I CALL THIS GUY THE SAIYAN BECAUSE GETTING HURT ONLY MAKES HIM STRONGER