Well that’s a sad stat for the Greatriots.
Huzzah, Ravens won the do-ever
/shoots out own eardrums
//Ravens fan, but fuck, two weeks of coverage
Congratulations to you and Stabby Pants and Otarin et.al.
Good luck to your Ravens at the SB.
Excuses are flowing in. We missed Gronk, Aqib Talib injury doomed us. What happened to the Patriot way? Everyone steps up does their job. FUCK YOU.
TOO MANY DAHKIES! AND I’M NAHT RACIST I HAVE A DAHKIE AT WERK I TAWK TO ALL THE TIME.
Plus Bernard Pollard added to his trophy case.
If Bernard Pollard takes out Kaepernick in two weeks, he deserves to be the MVP.
If Pollard takes out Kaep, Alex Smith might get to be MVP
I blameah Welkah’s wife. Have U seeeen her? She looks too much like a dahkie to be with our lawd and savior of grit1
I still prefer 18-1.
Yes, the 18-1 will be in the hieroglyphs for 5,000 years.
While I agree, I think it will be sweeter for “Sugar” Ray’s retirement to come after a Super Bowl loss instead of an AFC Championship loss.
Ape, this is my favorite post of all time.
Happy Pats Schadenfreude Day, everyone!!
I read Brady is crying. That footage better be up here tomorrow.
No Pats Schadenfreude will be better than 1st-game Loss To Rex Ryan Schadenfreude, but this will be much more delicious than last year’s, methinks.
I am a Giants fan so 18-1 will always be the best, but that glorious night is very god damn close to it.
Sorry in advance but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I’m sure Pittsburgh fans and New England fans are pissed. Great day
Au contraire. I hate the Pats more than the Ravens. I am happy.
THE ENEMY OF YOUR ENEMY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.
@Balls: you should check out Ape’s twitter feed. I think at some point today he morphed into a hybrid Niners/Pats fan. He seems seriously butt-hurt by the Ravens win.
And this is where I’ll add that Niners fans are essentially the west coast’s version of Boston fans. If you need me, I’ll be setting up the Ray Lewis Dance Party for the Super Bowl over here while hating myself for having to root for the Ravens as the lesser of two evils.
I don’t share Ape’s hatred of the Ravens, but I really fucking hate the Ravens. I still don’t know who I really wanted to win this game even though I am pleased with the result.
@Nippo: one of my buddies emphasized to me after today’s games that Ray Lewis played a part in someone’s murder and cover-up, cut a plea deal and then beat the Giants in Super Bowl XXXV, so as Giants fans we can’t possibly support the Ravens winning and Ray Lewis spaz-dancing with the Lombardi trophy in New Orleans. That said, I really can’t help but want unhappiness for this asshole, and I expect the insufferability of Niners fans will really manifest itself in full force over the next couple of weeks. Super Bowl XLVII represents quite the no win situation for a game where my team isn’t playing or directly affected. That the game is being played five years to the day when the Giants caused 18*-1 makes it all the more bitter.
To clear things up: Ray Lewis was involved in a fight in which two men were killed. He was never actually thought to have killed anyone, but Georgia has a law that states if a fight breaks out and someone dies, everyone in the fight can be found guilty of murder. Ray ray wouldn’t say what he saw, so they charged him as well as the two men they thought were likely the murderer. At trial, Ray changed his mind, plead guilty to obstruction and testified. After all the testimony, it became clear that the person who’d done the stabbing was one of the key informants for the prosecution, who had fled the state before the trial. So, Ray tried to cover up for a murderer, and he’ll have to live with that, but he was never involved in the actual fight. He was mostly screaming at the other guys that he couldn’t afford this shit and freaking out like a little girl.
Stabby; I don’t believe it was ever that clear cut about what happened. A touch fishy that the white suit Lewis was wearing the night of the killings has never been found. Plus being such a fine human and innocent fellow that has five kids by four different mothers and has held back child support and had domestic violence charges (later dropped). But he DOES LOVE JESUS.
I watched the whole trial, because I was college kid on break and had nothing better to do with my life. The whole trial was never very clear cut. Some witnesses said they saw things that other witnesses said didn’t happen. But I think the most telling thing is the DA declared him innocent of the charge of murder. They didn’t drop the charge, they declared they found enough evidence to say he didn’t do it.
I still think his conduct was criminal, and I’m glad he got the obstruction charge. I think he’s also not the worlds greatest human being, but no worse then your average sports pro. And I never liked his jesus obsession and think it’s crossed a line into insulting and/or disturbing this post season. But I am sure he never killed anyone. Just saying.
And for the record, my favorite Ravens player is Haloti Ngata, because he’s insanely talented, and never bitches about doing a job that gives him shit stats. Thats what the Ravens used to be about on defense, and I hope thats what they’ll go back to once God’s Linebacker retires.
OK, so be it. Haloti Ngata is an interior lineman every team would want and keeps searching for. Dudes been slowed by some chronic injuries, if not he’s basically unblockable.
I guess the thing that adds to it incessantly is:
Congratulations anyway there Stabby. It’s just this focus makes me hate them and root for the 69ers.
@Miami – Yeah, I saw Ape’s feed. He’s talking like the 49ers will roll over the Ravens. I think his Ravens hatred is much deeper than mine because he has lived a long time among them. I, being on the West Coast, am more exposed to douchebag hipster 49er fans who are the scum of the earth. Plus, LA hates SF in all sports, so that makes it easier.
@stabby, even if the DA said there was enough evidence to clear Ray, that still is often lawyer speak for “we eed him to testify against these other guys, so we need to make him look better than them in the eyes if the jury”. Bottom line is none of us know what his role was in those murders. But it’s also been fairly well documented that he changed his testimony between what he initially told prosecutors (after agreeing to the plea deal) and what he ultimately said on the stand.
I’d like to thank the dark lord for punting on 4th and short in Ravens territory again and again
Please fuck the Krafts.
The Ravens success explained: cyborg technology.
This is SO sweet!
Honestly Belimilffucker looks like he might murder someone. Take all sharp objects away from him.
Ray Lewis didn’t see anything.
Simmons twitter still dead silent
I read that as “Simmons dead.” Man that would be the perfect day.
I mean, he might be.
Aw man, I want to hear him talk about it being nawt fairah to Cousin Sal. They still do that right?
When the Pats lose I believe he consoles himself by bragging about how early on in the game he knew it was over.
I said it once I’ll say it again someone better check on his wife & kids. This loss may have sent him over the edge. Plus the way Jalen Rose keeps clowning him on ESPN.
I’m sure he’s making sure his next tweet is significantly arrogant enough, because he is the king of the “arrogant fuckers”.
Nope,still have a boner.
Berman and Tom Jackson look legitimately depressed
Why doesn’t Belimilfeater hate TJ
Terrell Suggs: “These are the most arrogant pricks in the world starting with Belichick on down.” God Bless you T-Sizzle
This is why I am happy today.
Hipster swimmer pic.twitter.com/sJxUmvlg
fuck. now i get to hear weeks worth of prognostication of how ray lewis single handedly propelled the ravens to the super bowl. ray lewis murders babies, people.
I think you meant Ray Lewis murders people, baby.
I enjoy his sentence exactly how it is. KEEP IT.
Fuck you Patriots for giving us two weeks of Lewis dick sucking. I guess it’s almost as bad as Brady fellatio. GAWD WHY?
The top teams all get blowjobs form the media. If Kansas City was in the SB then they would all be slobbering over Jamaal Charles or whoever else they had kicking ass.
@Preston – KC in the Super Bowl? What have you been smoking/drinking?
I was just picking the least likely team in flyover country – the team that gets about the least respect from the media. Not that they deserve much right now….
I wouldn’t think Jamaal Charles is quite the media whore Lewis is, or the stabby turned proselytizer. The media eats that shit up and loves this.
One other good thing is many Nigerian people will get some great use from the ‘New England Patriots AFC Champions’ hats and T-shirts!
Yeah, but a Nigerian prince will steal them, sell them at a nice profit in Southie and wire the money to Manti Te’o’s dead girlfriend.
Screaming Pats fan on WEEI is amazing. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HALL OF FAME QUARTERBACK DOESN’T CALL A TIME OUT BEFORE THE HALF AAAAAAAAAA”
Sorry, I meant “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAWL OF FAME QUAHTAHBACK DOESN’T CAWLL A TIME OUT BEFAH THAH HALF AAAAAAAAAA”
Who does Bill Belichick look like? Help me out, there is some character actor or criminal.
Just for reference:
Yeah, but there is someone else.
Don’t see that connection.
I screwed that up. I meant the guy made of rock in the Fantastic Four. I thought his name was Thing.
Then again, your clip is eerily appropriate.
Of course there are similarities:
The awesomeness, it burns!!!!
BAHAHAHA Fuck you Boston!!!!
Tawmmy left a nice Irish girl – who he happend to knawk up – foah a spic hooahh, and Gawd was watching.
Don’t know if this has already been said, but Ravens and Niners winning their games is glorious on three levels:
1) The Patriots have been dismissed at home by Joe Flacco. Let that sink in for a minute
Z) Steelers fans are PISSED (Love ya Ape, but my Steelers friends have been obnoxious)
%) If the Niners win, Steelers fans will have to share 6 Super Bowl titles with their fans. I won’t be happy but I’ll take it.
Off to watch the Super Bowl while getting myself as drunk as possible. Let’s see if Jerry Jones fucks up this off-season more than he has in the past. He probably will.