No one has been better at social media the past month than Darnell Dockett. The Cardinals defensive end has always been known for his refreshing real-talk, but he’s taken it to a new level in recent weeks on Twitter. The most notable episode happened during the BCS National Championship Game between Notre Dame and Alabama when Dockett tweeted his phone number at A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend after she was lusted over on TV by Brent Musburger. He also invited her to Wing Stop and the King of Diamonds strip club that evening, because, goddammit, Darnell Dockett knows how to show a lady a classy evening.
Then yesterday, as everyone in the world continued to obsess over the Manti Te’o story, Dockett tweeted the following to the Notre Dame linebacker:
@mteo_5 bro we all make mistakes, fuck it, Mann lets just go to KOD and ill find u what u looking for. You like midgets got a bad one 4 you.
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) January 17, 2013
KOD, of course, is King of Diamonds. It’s almost as though Dockett spends a lot of time there. And why not? It’s the place he goes to get his mind right. Also, there are naked ladies.
Upon seeing the latest KOD invitation sent from Dockett to a public figure in the spotlight, I had an epiphany. Dockett should, nay, he must be allowed to host a TV interview series from King of Diamonds. Don’t get me wrong. Dockett is a solid NFL player. He’s a three-time Pro Bowler. But this is his true calling in life.
We need to work together as a nation to ensure that every significant television interview occurs with Dockett at King of Diamonds. I didn’t watch a second of Lance Armstrong’s sitdown with Oprah because I knew it would be lame. You know what wouldn’t be lame? Lance Armstrong’s sitdown with Darnell Dockett at King of Diamonds. He’d get some truly surprising responses out of Lance. He’d also probably get a stripper to laugh at him about only having one ball.
Look, I know we all want Gruden Talk to be a real thing, but we should also want Darnell Dockett Live From King of Diamonds to be a real thing as well. This is something to be committed to, people. For the betterment of us all.