After being strung along by Chip Kelly, the Browns had to go looking for another person to manage the Factory of Sadness. That coach will be Rob Chudzinski, henceforth known as Chud to save everyone the trouble of spelling his name. The former offensive coordinator in Carolina for two years, Chud’s preference for the vertical passing attack is good news for Brandon Weeden. At least better for Weeden than Chip Kelly’s offensive strategy would have been. This is an important consideration because you totally want to build your offense around Doopy Pantz.
Chud’s arrival has many saying that Norv Turner is now likely to become the Browns new offensive coordinator. That’s no fun. Norv is actually a halfway competent coordinator. It’s only when he’s running the show that the true hilarity comes out. I suppose we should be happy that one fewer inept person is running an NFL team. Still, gonna miss those Norval derps.
— The Hogettes are hanging up the drag outfits and disbanding after 30 years, making Chief Zee the only embarrassing superfan left representing the Washington Redskins.
— New Jaguars GM David Caldwell said he can’t imagine a scenario in which Tim Tebow would be on his team next year. I see we have an early favorite for 2013 Executive of the Year.
— According to Ian Rapoport, Lovie Smith is en route to visit the Chargers to interview for the head coaching job. Lovie would be another retread coach hire, so it passes the smell test for me.
— Getting open-hand slappy on your girlfriend? Sorry, Chris Rainey, that’s an arrestin‘. Invoking their firm commitment to punishing wayward players who aren’t stars, the Steelers have parted with Rainey. This news means there’s no way Boss Todd comes back to Pittsburgh without his favorite fumbling weapon in his arsenal.
— Big Boi thinks the Falcons are good for playoff wins so long as they stay out of the Atlanta strip clubs. Just sad he didn’t say the Seahawks are shine blockas.
— Christian Ponder said he couldn’t throw the ball more than 10 yards before the Vikings’ Wild Card loss in Green Bay. Minnesota really needed a QB who could launch it 40 yards straight up.