The 2012 regular season has come to close. We had some laughs, we had some scabs refs and we had some very bad Thursday night games. Also Roger Goodell got humiliated a bunch of times, which is always appreciated. Who knows, perhaps we’ll do this football thing again next year.
Until then, a look back at the funniest moments of the 2012 season. There’s certainly room for debate for things you felt worthy of inclusion that didn’t make the list. I had a hard time not including the GIF of Alfred Morris’ mom cleaning out her ears with her car keys. I know that’s an image everyone wanted to see again.
So here we go:
One thing that’s nice about the Bears now looking for a new coach is that it’ll have to be someone willing to put up with Jay Cutler blowing them off on the sideline. Okay, perhaps Cutler never pulled any of this shit with Lovie Smith on the sideline. Cutty is catty, not stupid. But he was a dick to Mike Tice. And it was great.
The Fail Mary will be the enduring memory of the three horrible weeks that we had to put up with the scab ref nightmare. If that Packers-Seahawks game was the breaking point for the scab ref catastrophe, the night before in Baltimore had driven the situation to the brink. There were very audible “BULL-SHIT” chants from the crowd. And the game ended with Bill Belichick chasing down a scab ref and yanking him by the arm. It reminds me of that scene from UP, where the old man gets evicted from his house because he finally snapped and hit one of the construction workers for touching his mailbox. Only Bill Belichick isn’t a sympathetic figure.
It was a trying year for Philip Rivers. Which is great for everyone who isn’t a Chargers fan because a furious Marmalard is a hilarious Marmalard. He even took out his rage on wayward punts. That’s okay. Norv finally got fired so it all worked out in the end.
Rob Gronkowski finally got back into the end zone in Week 17 after missing six weeks with an injury. Even with the extended absence, Gronk finished with 11 touchdown receptions on the season. That’s fairly impressive. Less so was his first Gronk spike of the year in Tennessee. Luckily, he got a lot of practice to get himself right by the end of the year. Oh, and he imitated the changing of the guard when he scored in the London game.
Even if the Broncos go on to win the Super Bowl – and God help us if they do – the comeback on Monday night in San Diego in Week 6, when Denver trailed 24-0 at half then scored 35 unanswered points, will be viewed as the turning point in their season. That’s too bad. Still have to credit Eric Decker for trying his best to torpedo Peyton Manning’s touchdown throws by tripping over the field.
There were tons of ridiculous things that fans did this season, including this Chargers fan caught on camera forcing fellatio from the guy seated next to him. But for some reason, I keep coming back to this grown-ass Panthers fan and his stupid painted face. I think it’s the included vest and the khakis combo that does it for me.
One of the first signs that the Texans were doomed was in Week 11 when the Jaguars improbably gave them a game. Houston did eventually prevail in overtime, but not before their kicker, Shayne Graham, missed a potential game-winning kick at the end of regulation. That miss elicited the above sardonic grin from Chad Henne. The quarterback actually played fairly well in that defeat, raising the brief possibility that Chad Henne could resurrect his career as a smarmy asshole, but the six interceptions in the last two games of the season prove he’s the same Henne he always was. Still grew a nice mustache, though.
It should be a rite of initiation for all on-air talent to have to survive getting hit in the face with a football during a live report. So far, it’s just NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport. Lots of work to be done to get everyone else up to speed with broadcaster regulations.
The legendary Jets Thanksgiving Buttfumble. As much as anything, it may come to define the Mark Sanchez era with the Jets. The many crippling interceptions will probably factor in there somewhere as well. A few weeks later, the Steelers had a buttfumble of their own, but it lacked the critical element of a quarterback going face-first into somebody’s back side.
University of Jah lacks the hard edge of Ball So Hard University, but I bet the parties there are significantly better.