Some nerdlinger crunched numbers using math wizardry to determine how likely it is that Adrian Peterson actually broke the single-season rushing title, but was denied because of the way the NFL rounds off yardage gained.
Using graphs and left-brained sorcery, Jeremy Scheff mapped the distribution of “real” rushing yards, accounting for possible rounding errors in Eric Dickerson’s record-breaking season and Adrian Peterson’s almost record-breaking season. He came to this conclusion:
There is approximately a 15% chance that Adrian Peterson actually broke Dickerson’s record, but it was not noticed due errors accumulated by rounding the lengths of rushes to integer values.
15 percent? I don’t know. That doesn’t sound quasi-legit-esque enough for me to scream robbery. Nice try, mathemagician.
— Most charitable funds by professional athletes are bullshit, but Alex Smith’s charity commits 91 percent of its funds to its missions. Really hope the foundation is called Tiny Hands, Big Hearts.
— Colorado tight end Nick Kasa was asked by a team at the combine if he like girls. He should have been, like, “No, I like WOMEN” because that’s totally what the chicks wanna hear, right brah?
— Rich Eisen did that thing where he ran the 40-yard dash and people cared for some reason. He also sprayed deer antler extract on himself because HA HA ZANY!
— Former shitty quarterback and current shitty radio host Jim Miller said liberals are trying to force gays on pro football. That’s a dumb statement, but I’d love it if the NFL forced each team to draft one gay guy from a pool of homosexuals. Yes, an actual swimming pool. “The Buccaneers select the third Speedo guy from the left in the deep end.”
— Here’s a Colts tailgating bus that can be yours for about $18,000. Looks like it can seat three, possibly four, Colts fans.
— The Jets have gone from trying to trade Darrelle Revis to actively trying to trade Darrelle Revis. Not sure what the distinction is, but in my experience, the harder the Jets try to do something, the less likely they are to succeed at it. Though the Niners do seem eager to rip people off in trades lately.
— Tyrann Mathieu claimed he could hold Calvin Johnson to five catches and force two turnovers if he covered Megatron. So obviously, dude is still high.