It’s time once again for our dearest and most random tradition of the off-season: the live blogging of the Scripps National Spelling Bee finals. The event is held 10 minutes from where I live, so you’d think I’d actually bother going one of these years, but I could see the fellow attendees being put off by my mocking of the contestants. Also, I’m lazy.
The competition is down to 11 finalists. If you’re into spelling bee storylines, 13-year-old Arvind Mahankali, the third-place finisher the last two years, is trying to finally break through. Will he finally be crowned or forever be the clownfraudiest language savant there ever was? I’m sure the other 10 spellers have an entire childhood spent memorizing the dictionary to justify as well.
Will one of the finalist have the icy focus of a killer, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Kyle Mou? Will another ESPN personality mix up Indian kids, as Samantha Steele did last year? Can anyone other than an Indian kid win for the first time in six years? I can’t say anything for certain other than that I’ll be drunk by the first DING.