At long last, a half-speed, reasonable facsimile of the sport we love.
Thanks to Warren Sapp, there is now a bust in Canton with braids. BRAIDS! A hallmark of me-firstiness among the luminaries of the game? Why, it’s only a matter of time until we have one with facial tattoos, and then whatever crusty sportswriters remain at that time can wring their arthritic hands into dust.
As for this evening’s opening exhibition, Tony Romo won’t play and it’s likely DeMarco Murray and Dez Bryant won’t either. Which means they’ll see one drive of action fewer than the starters who do bother to suit up. That’s okay. The Hall of Fame Game is more important as a signpost than a spectacle. The first flushes of a new glorious NFL season. And, if nothing else, we can watch Jason Garrett lecture his team about triangles.