The Best Moments From The Monday Night Doubleheader

By 09.10.13


This year’s annual kickoff weekend Monday night doubleheader had two teams jump out to seemingly prohibitive leads only to allow a huge comeback in the second half. While the Redskins fell short of erasing the 33-7 deficit, the Chargers hilariously choked away another big lead in a primetime game. It’s what they do.

Since the late game didn’t end until 2 a.m. ET, there’s a fair chance that you didn’t catch all of the telecast. It’s also possible and understandable that you switched off your TV as soon as you heard Chris Berman in the booth. So here’s the highlights.

There's always free Subway


Hey there, Redskins fans. Sucks to lose, I know. But at least your team is willing to shill promotions with corporate partners in the middle of a loss to a division rival. That has to be comforting.

Monday Night Animated Surgery

Uh, thanks ESPN? I totally wanted a simulated RGIII surgical procedure in the middle of my football. Don’t think I can eat my free Subway now, jerks.

D-Hall vs. DeSean


It might not get as much attention as some of the other storylines in the game, but DeAngelo Hall and DeSean Jackson getting chippy on Monday night was a significant development. These are two of the most consistently knuckleheaded players in the league. Unfortunately Chip Kelly pulled DeSean from the game before someone could get ejected in the scuffling, but there’s always the rematch later this season.

Sorry coach


DeSean getting excited and knocking the visor off Chip Kelly’s head reminds me off a time when he celebrated hilariously with another coach.

Giants Eagles Football

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The Game Done Changed


Chip Kelly brought all his vaunted college innovations to the NFL, including the shorthand playcalling signs. Most of them were Philly themed, including the above Rocky and Phillie Phanatic signs, but there was also a Fresh Prince one. Oh, and Bart Simpson, whose Philly connection is less apparent.

My head is still spinning from this formation, however.




So nice I laughed at it twice.


Halftime with Sunday Soundtracks, the only part of ESPN’s broadcast that actually works well. I enjoy the part where Terrell Suggs is trying to fire up his teammates by saying the Ravens are the most disrespected defending champs ever. Wonder why?

Float Run

During better times in the late game, Philip Rivers had an 18-yard run that took about five minutes to complete. Of course, he got up barking at a defender. Classic Marmalard.

Laserface engage


Rivers was really feeling his oats when things were going well for San Diego. It’s almost like the burden of sucking for years under Norv had been lifted. It was a new day.

Float Six

Or, to paraphrase Peter King, it was a new day until it wasn’t. Welp, guess you can’t blame all the Chargers screw-ups on Norv. Only most of them.

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