Alex Smith: Hey coach, I’ve game managed this game real good. How’s about letting me open things up a little and take a shot downfield?
Andy Reid: Hmm. I don’t know, Alex. I think it’d be best if we just stick with what’s been working for us.
Alex Smith: C’mon, we’re playing the Raiders. I can take a few risks. I can do this. Let me prove myself. I can be a big time big play quarterback too.
Andy Reid: I’ll think it over. In the meantime, run this play.
Alex Smith: Awwww man. Allllllll right…
[Play gains nine yards]
Alex Smith: Hey, a 2nd and 1. This would be the perfect time to take a deep shot. Even if it’s incomplete, we should easily be able to pick it up on 3rd.
Andy Reid: Listen, we’re not going to disrupt the rhythm of this drive just to indulge your selfish whims. This is a division game we’re playing. It’s no time to deviate from the plan. Now hurry up and run my play.
[Pass complete for five yards, first down]
Alex Smith: Yeah, I guess that worked out fine. This can’t be all we do on offense, though. How are we ever gonna beat the Broncos if we’re afraid to air it out a little bit?
Andy Reid: I think you just need to have a little more trust in our defense. It’s been playing really well this season. So what if we’re not going to score 50 points like the fancy-ass Broncos? What we are going to do is play sound defense and not turn the ball over. That means we’re gonna win. Hard to argue with the results.
Alex Smith: But what if we do get behind in a game? Then what? I just wanna try a deep pass to Dwayne Bowe so bad! Just one! We have to know we can do that.
Andy Reid: Look, we’re not arguing about this. How do you feel about running the read option?
Alex Smith: The read option! That’s exciting!
Andy Smith: Well go on, then.
Alex Smith: Wait a minute. This isn’t the read option.
Andy Reid: You calling me a liar, son?
Alex Smith: Sigh… no.
[Gain of seven]
Alex Smith: Christ. This is just like Harbaugh all over again. Yeah, we’re winning, but I want a chance to show my stuff. This isn’t fair!
Andy Reid: I’ll tell you what – next time we’re in the red zone and nobody’s open, just launch it out of the back of the end zone. Show no abandon. Put it in the 30th row. Display that arm strength.
Alex Smith: You mean it?
Andy Reid: Yeah, sure, why not?
Alex Smith: Ha ha! Get ready, Kaepernick. They’re gonna stick me in all the McDonald’s ads once they see how far I can clock this thing.