Hey folks so I wrote a hilarious Key and Peele sketch leading up to the playoffs game between Colin Kapernick whose literally the biggest thug to ever play the sport of football and Russell Wilson whose just a outstanding impressive charisma worldclass class act. This fits in perfectly with there recurring impressions of President Obama and the presidents real-life best friend Luther who Keegan-Michael Key does a PERFECT impressin of. So Key and Peele if your out there watching this feel free to steal my material, no offense.
Int. Press conference begins:
Russell Wilson: Im just really excited to be here. Its going to be a real team effort, tomorrow our team has worked hard as a team and its going to take all of us doing our jobs IMO.
Ballin Rappattack: Its all about the San Francisco FortyMINErs folks,, I dont care about Weattle Wehawks,, theres no I in team but Colin Kapernicks got two I’s and all I see is daylight folks. I might not even pass the ball just scrambles all day. Who needs teamates when Ive got myself as a teammates and also whatever tatted out version of Jesus I believe in on MY side and not yours! See where there were only one set of footprints? Thats when I was doing a elaborate endzone celebration using Jesus as a AK-47 sprayin down tha haters! WOoooooo!
Russell Wilson: You know I visited the childrens hospital the other day.
Colin Scabberdick: TO VISIT ALL MY KIDS!
Russell Wilson: I firmly believe that my owner Paul Allen is just a great person. Hes been like a father to me and I know that Im not entitled to even look him in the eye until I bring him a world championship.
Colin Tattooneck: Im more of a name on the BACK of my paycheck type guy who cares about the hardworking owner whose created jobs for me and all my friends.
Russell Wilson: And golly I just respect the heck out of Colin, hes a real competitor and Im humbeled that people would put us on the same level as one a nother. It truly humbles me to hear how great I am.
Playcallin SackandPick: Usually when someones bragging about there name appearing next to mine in a Sentence, its the DA reading the morning paper!
Russell Wilson: Anyways its just going to be a real treat to play here in Seattle, especially in front of all of the fans. You guys are so loud, you truly are the “12th man!”
Jawin’ Slackernick: THATS WHAT I CALL MY NEWBORN!
PS if your finding this site from comedy central please note Ive got some other great ideas for your shows,, I’m working on a script right now called: “The Man Show (not for girls): Elite Edition.”