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Russell Wilson to the Rescue!

By 01.21.14

fire

HELP! SOMEONE CALL 911! HELP! HELP!

THE EXITS ARE BLOCKED! THE FIRE IS CLOSING IN!

HELP ME! OH MY GOD, I DON’T WANNA DIE!

SOMEBODY!

YOU HAVE TO HELP!

THERE’S A BABY UP HERE!

HELP!

russli

Russell Wilson: Separation is preparation!

Lady: Oh thank goodness! I thought I was going to die.

Russell Wilson: No need to fear. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Lady in distress: Holy shit, where did you come from? Whatever, you’re here. That’s all that matters.

Wilson: I don’t think I’ve arrived. I think I’m continuing to get there, getting closer and closer to where I want to go. But I’m not there yet.

Lady: What!? What the fuck are you talking about? Just tell me you can get us out of here.

Wilson: I have high expectations of myself. I always have, and I always will. That will never waver.

Lady: THERE. IS. A. FUCKING. FIRE. HELP ME AND MY BABY! IF WE DON’T GET OUT OF HERE, WE ARE GOING TO DIE!

Wilson: When we focus that way, get prepared that way — that this is it, you know, this is the last one, the biggest one — you get ready, you get amped up, you get that laser focus and you’re ready.

Lady: Listen to me, you goddamn psycho, SAVE ME AND MY BABY. If you don’t do something and we get out of here, I swear to God, I’ll kill you myself.

Wilson: Wow what passion for your life and family. Have to respect that.

Lady: SHUT UP AND HELP US! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE JUST SHOWS UP IN A MOMENT OF CRISIS AND DOES THIS?

Wilson: Blessed to have crises and the strength to overcome them. Not a sermon, just a thought.

[Woman runs back to window]

Lady: HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE ELSE GET HELP! THERE’S A FIRE AND THE CEILING IS COMING DOWN AND THERE’S A HUMAN DAILY AFFIRMATION CALENDAR HERE WHO ISN’T DOING ANYTHING! HELP!

Russell Wilson: Go Hawks!

[Wilson leaps out the window, lands on feet and is unfazed by the fall from 30 feet. Meanwhile, the woman is consumed by flames]


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