Garrett: Why isn’t this just grand, Cally? Some needed time off, a low-calorie domestic beer in my hand, and sport for our entertainment. Right here in our own fine home, we didn’t even have to bother with the Greyhound Terminal of the Skies, the Dallas-Ft.Worth airport.
Callahan: You mean this O’Douls actually has some alcohol in it? Where’s Muffin, by the way?
Garrett: You know full well where Muffin is, Cally. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you two have been texting all through the offseason about wine, despite the fact I’ve taken back call duties around here. Her displeasure with me has to have come up at least once during your spirited debate over prosecco versus moscato.
Callahan: Can’t say that it has. We usually stick to wine and book club.
Garrett: Ever since Tony talked me into wearing a matching Duke shirt with him as a funny ruse last month, she’s made me sing “Old Nassau” once before bedtime. If we may be men for a second Cally, this is a terrible development. We usually sing it twice a night, once for each of our Princeton degrees, to help us get the amorous blood flowing.
Callahan: Still not sure how rooting for Duke was considered a joke.
Tony: Jeez, Cally. Because obviously I’m a Wisconsin fan and obviously Coach is a Princeton Man. It’s hilarious!
/Luxury Suite Flies Open
Jerry: JUST LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE GIVEN THE PEOPLE OF DALLAS, ARLINGTON AND FT. WORTH. Caesar shall wave!
Garrett: Why, those ruffians! Sir, sir. Pay no attention to them.
Jerry: GARRETT, YOU COVER MY BOY TONY’S EARS RIGHT NOW. HE SHALL NEVER KNOW PAIN WHILE IN THE WARMTH AND SAFETY OF MY LUXURY SUITE.
Garrett: Earmuffs, Tony!
Tony: I CAN’T HEAR YOU COACH, I’M ALREADY DOING WHAT CALLY SAYS TO DO WHEN YOU GIVE ME DIRECTIONS.
/Multimillionaire Network Chairman flies open
Jerry: MAKE IT STOP, GARRETT. ARE YOU STILL WEARING THAT DUKE SHIRT? HOW ARE THEY BOOING MY GOOD FRIEND LES MOONVES.
/Drunken Millionaire Pizza Boy flies open.
Garrett: I swear, it was all a joke sir!
Jerry: IT BETTER BE A JOKE BECAUSE HOW CAN ANYONE BOO THE FINEST IN PIZZA SALES, THE PAPA. CALLY, YOU RIP OFF GARRETT’S SHIRT AND CARVE “DUKE SUCKS” INTO HIS SKIN.
Garrett: Wait, you invited him in here?
Jerry: WHAT CAN I SAY BOYS, I’M CRAZY DOUBLE JJ AND WHY HAVE JUST THE CURRENT QUARTERBACK IN YOUR LUXURY SUITE WHEN YOU CAN HAVE THE PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE HERE ALL AT THE SAME TIME!