Best Week/Worst Week: Canada and Players Who Hit Women

By: 08.15.14  •  34 Comments

Those flags are just for show.

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While Mark Davis was flying around in helicopters being courted by San Antonio and sending flirty advances to Los Angeles, it was revealed that the Bills could be the more likely relocation project. People seem to be focusing on what bad news this is for Buffalo, while sleeping on how great this is for our northern neighbors.

An NFL franchise will give Canada the legitimacy their nation has lacked since its inception. First you get the Super Bowl, then you get respect, then you get a seat on the UN Security Council. And yes, we’ll all feel bad for Buffalo for a few minutes until we start to think about how great a Super Bowl in Toronto would be. Assuming Drake is dead by then.

Please don’t hit anyone with your shoe.

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Bad news for bad people this week. The NFL leaked the news that they’re thinking about possibly getting serious about domestic violence. You know, assuming the NFLPA is cool with it. That likely means that the NFL would have to give something up, because negotiating.

The owners surely won’t give the players another cent of the league’s profits, so they’ll have to get creative. Maybe in exchange for signing off on four game suspensions for knocking your girlfriend unconscious on camera the players can get the league to go a bit easier on the Josh Gordons and Tanard Jacksons of the world.

Or maybe the NFL can just show some balls and suspend people like Ray Rice for half a season (or more) because WHO WOULD COME OUT AGAINST THEM?

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