OH HELL YEAH! Football is back. There are large men on my television, and they are smashing into each other with moderate levels of intensity. One of my fantasy leagues was reactivated this week. I can make jokes about my tailgate being in mid-season form. I don’t have to pay attention to baseball again for six weeks. Life is finally starting to get good again.
Ugh, I can’t believe I have to fake excitement for preseason football. It’s only like 5% better than no football. I could be reading a book right now. OK, maybe not, but I could be watching something else. Starters play for like five minutes, then it’s a couple of hours of listening to the Joe Theismann’s of the world suck the local team’s dick to fill the void in actual action. Oh man, is Jeff Triplette still in the league? That guy is death. Remember when he ended that guy’s career?
Oh right, injuries. There are going to be a lot of those. Basically anyone I draft on my fantasy team is going to get carried off of the field. Ugh. Fantasy. I guess I have to do that again too. That’s usually fun for about a week. Then some moron beats you because Andy fucking Dalton puts up 350 yards and three touchdowns and now he thinks he’s smarter than you.
Man, I just want to watch my team when they’re playing, watch the Red Zone channel when they aren’t, and obsess over my weekly pool. Fuck the rest.