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And that fan is me folks.
Im the guardian of the NFL fans delcate sensibilitys. As self-appointed president of the National Football League Fan Assocation, I took it upon myself to Do The Right Thing and report Johnny Manziel to our national goverment.
We all know that Obamas to busy watching the news like a nerdass chump to care about professional football but by shoving this OBVIOUS and FLAGRANT violation of my 1st Amendment right to watch football without thinking Ive stepped into a Tupac album skit into the goverments files, we’ve at least started a paper trail which coincidentally is how you can track Josh Gordons whereabouts. Even NFL.com took notice this morning in this email they sent me:
Dont get me wrong I think Johnny Football is going to be a star in this league once he learns that flipping the bird has gone the way of the dodo. So as a service to you Mr. Football, here are some other useful thing’s you can do next time you wants to give some one the finger:
– Pop one of your weird zits on them
– Strike the heisman pose (preferably during a play so they dont tackle you so easily)
– do the blowjob thing with your hand and your cheek the NFL dosent have cameras inside your helmet. Yet.
– call your daddy to fix it and make it better
– practice football until your demonstratabily better than Bryan Hoyer