Well it was fun to think the Panthers-Patriots game was going to be competitive for a few minutes last night. Also how is it possible that the Giants are 4-0 in the preseason and look so terribly, terribly bad? Oh right, preseason.
Tampa Bay – Buffalo 4:30 ET / 1:30 PT: Interestingly enough, this game is sold out as the Bills debut their renovated Ralph Wilson Stadium today. They’re not selling local wings from Duff’s, added more bathrooms, added larger gates, and most importantly according to the Bills website, “more Zubaz.” As for the game, and this may come as a shock, but the Buccaneers are treating it like a real game. Unbelievably risky move if you ask me.
Dallas – Miami 7 ET / 4 PT: You ready for some Brandon Weeden football? Of course you are. And if the previous two sentences don’t prove that you’re ready for anything as hardened Cowboys fan, don’t know what will. Knowshon Moreno comes back this week so hopefully we’ll get a look at how his knee looks.
Tennessee – Atlanta 7 ET / 4 PT: Thought we proved the Titans were a myth yesterday? It also sounds like a game that should be on an SEC schedule, not an NFL one. Bad jokes aside, the Falcons and Titans should have a good idea what they’re in for during the season tune-up game as the two teams were part of the hot fad of combined practices this summer. Would it shock you to hear that Jake Locker and Zach Mettenberger had like 350 yards against the Saints last week? Yeah, I was pretty surprised myself.
Washington – Baltimore 7:30 ET / 4:30 PT Both the Ravens and Washington say they’re going to keep their starters in until at least the start of the third quarter, in what should an interesting enough matchup as RGIII tries to prove they can score from the red zone. Also, for the love of all that’s holy, someone teach that man to slide already. It’s been horrifying to watch him in this preseason, like we’re all waiting for a knee to explode into a thousand pieces on our television screens.
St. Louis – Cleveland 8 ET / 5 PT: Really don’t have it in me to make another Johnny Clipboard joke this week, but Cleveland really needs to get it together tonight before they can sink their season before it begins. Sadly, Sam Bradford & Co. will learn this the hard way as they face a Browns secondary that seems to be the one bright spot on the entire team.
New Orleans – Indianapolis 8 ET / 5 PT: Jimmy Graham has already been fined $30,000 for dunking over the goal post this season. UNACCEPTABLE PRESEASON FUN.
Minnesota – Kansas City 8 ET / 5 PT: Adrian Peterson is out? Unless you’re a diehard fan of either team, not sure why you tune in for Matt Cassel revenge tour.
Houston – Denver 9 ET / 6 PT: Two more teams that have been practicing together this preseason, Chris Clark actually picked a fight with JJ Watt earlier this week. Why would start a fight with the one Texan you shouldn’t fight? Right. Because on paper, Texans-Broncos sounds about as scary as lion versus muskrat.