We’re closing out the year with a gallery of the 30 best moments from the 2013 regular season. These are either standout plays, hilarious screwups or really anything that made us smile in the regular season. Wide-ranging criteria, to be sure. I didn’t bother to rank them because I’m lazy and there would be endless disagreement. No one wants to fight on New Year’s. Let’s just be happy and drunk.
Pretty ideal way to celebrate a pick-six.
Sean Payton got really into the CrossFit in the past year. That inspired Jon Gruden to terrify Mike Tirico by doing kettlebell exercises in the booth. It made no sense, involved scattered energy and was potentially destructive, making it the perfect Gruden thing.
Thank goodness the Jags ended up winning a few games this year. Not sure their mascot would have survived any money weekly masochistic stunts while they were still winless.
Truly the most memorable catchphrase of the season, thanks to Steve Smith shittalking Aqib Talib. I’m sure it will be overused by this time next year, but for now “Ice Up, Son” is still great.
It’s easy to forget in the wake of recent events that the Browns had a fleeting glimmer of hope at one point this season. They were actually in first place in their division for a few days. That was enough to get Jimmy Haslam cackling like a mad man. You would be too if you did something to land in prison but instead got to own a football team.
2013 also saw great leaps forward to tackling innovation.
And yet the Bengals still never manage to use him enough.
Brandon Mebane, sharing the gift of his bounteous gut with the world.
Let’s hope Jason Tarver stays with Oakland. Based on this alone, he certainly belongs.
Perhaps the most bizarrely robotic thing on an NFL broadcast: when CBS decided the nation needed a demonstration on ball carrying style by Phil Simms in the middle of a game.
A worthy followup to the timeless classic. Wonder where Geno inspiration to make a sequel?
With such impressive synchronized anguish, you wonder why this team wasn’t better this year.
“OF COURSE HE CAN ONLY DO IT IN A DOME” – troll media
John Fox is busy trying to find a way to weaponize this talent.
Like everything, Greg Hardy dominated player introductions this season. Hailing from Hogwarts, he kills cereal without a spoon.
The game audio picks up Brady screaming NOOOOOO when a pass rusher breaks free at him. It’s not a reaction I couldn’t see myself having, yet it’s still hilarious it’s Brady.
Oh wait, Tom Brady pretending like he was even going to tackle someone was even better.
You could have an entertaining gallery of just Jim Harbaugh shitfits. I like that the playsheet is able to suppress this one.
If this were any team but the Cardinals, this would produce conspiracy theories about the refs helping them win.
A banner year for Stafford doop face, but that there are any bad years for it.
Please, only RGIII gets helped up by opponents.
Cheerleaders: not just for ogling anymore. You can also mock them!
It’s been a tumultuous year for Tom Brady high fives. At one point, no one wanted to five him, possibly because he’s spent the whole season screaming at his receivers. Then Brady got fives after making silly faces. Then all of a sudden, no one wanted to five Brady again.
Andy Reid getting a big red jacket was really a great development for Andy Reid jokes.
Rob Ryan usually ain’t sweating a lot in life, but losing a lead in the last minute to the Patriots is enough to make him the saddest sack around.