500 Touchdowns And Counting

05.22.15 3 years ago 9 Comments


By Peyton Manning

ARKANSAS — I’ve done some special things in my life and had a lot of treasured memories. None of them, I can say, hold a candle to being able to take part in “The Duggar Family Molestation Extravaganza”, sponsored by The Family Research Council. It’s something I’ll never, ever forget.

I love the Duggars. Always have. I consider myself a Duggar guy, because I’ve never appeared on any other reality show and never have participated in any other group exploitation of minors. I’ve been a big fan of molestation my whole life – just ask Archie – and I’ve just always felt that the Duggars hit the right note — all the time. They’ve been such a big influence.

So to be asked to appear in their special – wow, what an incredible honor. I’m standing off-camera, taking in all the sights, listening to the shrieks and waiting for someone to call the police, when someone grabs my arm and marshals me in frame.

My line was, “Oh heck, this sure is a lot of inappropriate touching with underage family members.”

“Yowee,” I added.

After that, I sat in the corner and stared into the middle distance for a while, not saying anything. It kept going on, I’m not sure how long. You kind of lose yourself in those moments. Time becomes an elastic thing, stretched by the atrocities laid out before you.

Standing there watching the end, it just felt like I was watching a part of history, something really important. And terribly illegal. When “The Duggar Family Molestation Extravaganza” was over, Josh thanked me for coming. I couldn’t look him in the eye, mainly out of disgust. But I got the message all the same.

Even though they might not have a show anymore and are fortunate that statutes of limitation exist, I’ll always be a Duggar guy.

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