SMIRRE: THE MOVIE. In news I couldn’t make up at my most weeded, a movie about Hines Ward’s life is apparently in development. According to the rather unhelpful article, the film will focus on how his mother worked very hard when Hines was a kid, which enabled him to become an NFL receiver, which, let me tell you, sounds like riveting drama. But who will play the NFL’s smaltest smirretime leceivel? How about Keanu Reeves? He’s half-Asian. Ah so, but they need a smart half-Asian. And probably one who’s also half-black. Of course, they already got the guy from Bloodsport to play Rongrastname.