BREAKING NEWS! Brett Favre has sent the Packers a text message! It’s true! Huzzah! OMG! OMFG! :o!!!!!!!!
A message from the Gunslinger himself! What a truly historic occurrence! What an amazing milestone in NFL history! I can barely keep my pants on, I’m so blown away! I may have to go masturbate with the GOOD shower soap tonight!
No one knows what the text message said, but we do know he did indeed send it. Breathtaking. I’m also being told that Brett Favre may have also tried to contact the Packers via AIM, but that the Packers couldn’t get the fucking chat room to open.
Well, we at KSK are quite adept at navigating these kooky intertubes. As with anything Favre shoots off, this message was easily intercepted. Favre sent the Packers no less than a dozen messages. Here they are.
JK ABOUT RETIRING
U GOT QB 4 GUNSLNGN?
CN CUM BK NOW? KTHXBAI!
SUX 2B ARRON
OMG! A-RODG B SO GAY!
DEANNA IZ BORIN.
#4 NEEDS PK BJ ASAP
MOOR INTS PLS
BETTR HOPE I DONT GET ITCH 2 GET U FIRED LOLZ
WHEN DID I GET A CELL PHONE?
I’M SO RAVEN!
GOT 2 B A VIK NOW L8RS
PAIN KILLERZ 2 SPENSIV IN REEL WRLD
4’S BOYESH INTHUZIAZM FTW
DO U KNOW # 4 LIKKER STORE???
And here was Ted Thompson’s texted reply: