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Justin James aka “J.J.” Watt has cemented himself as one of if not the best defensive players to take the field in the past 25 years. On the surface he seem’s to say and do all the right things. He Gets It.

But as I have pothesized before, sometimes he seems to Get It just a little too much. Somethings allways been fishy with JJ, and after performing exhautive research and getting a libray card and everything, I am now ready to publish a important peer-reviewed research paper on the close ties the Texans DT shares with the most notorous dictator to walk the face of the earth- Adolf Hitler. The similarties, in my opinon, are overwhelming. But read it yourself and reach your own conclusions.

We will be examing JJ through the lens of his OWN public statements that hes made over the passed 3 years, all of which will demonstrate a concise and clear similarity to Adolf Hitler, the most notoriousley evil dictator to walk the face of the earth in the past thousand years besides Obama. While it is not my positon that JJ Watt IS Hitler, probably, there are just to many similarities to let him off the hook without a further examinaton of the motives behind his squeaky clean public person. Let us begin.

 Event: JJ Watt bought a remote cabin in Wisconsin order to get away in the offeseason.

 

Hypothesis: You know who else liked to spend his free time in a carefully selected countryside home strategicaly located in the state of his birth?

Evidence: Acording to the Houston Chronicle, Watt had this to say about his new offseason home: 

“It’s really minimalistic,” Watt said. “The only thing I have to focus on is training and that’s the way I like it. There’s no frills, there’s nothing to distract you up here.”

Likewise, Hitlers country home was desciribed thusley:

There is nothing pretentious about the Führer’s little estate. It is one that any merchant of Munich or Nuremberg might possess in these lovely hills.

More noteworthey facts:

• JJ Watt bought his cabin in Wisconsin- the state of his birth.
• Hitlers Berghof was nestled in the foothills of the bavarian alps literaly “look(ing) out upon his native Austria.”

 

• Watt described his cabin as “just an empty space and a log cabin and snow.” In other words it was made out of wood.
• Hitlers house had pine dining rooms and his beloved pine study:

fpp.co/uk

• JJ Watt purchassed his new home for himself using money he made himself.
• This is eerily similar to Hitlers admisson in a intervew with Homes and Gardens magazine in 1938: “This place is mine,” he says simply. “I built it with money that I earned” (Phayre).

Concluson: Both Hitler and JJ Watt had unassuming isolated pine retreats nestled in snowy remote locales overlooking the states of there birth.

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Event: JJ Watt publicaly states that football means more to him then having a girlfriend- but he has a secret girlfriend.

 

Hypotheises: Do you know who else clamed to not have a girlfriend because he was married to his job but then turned out he did have a secret girlfriend?

Evidents: At 2:10 in the above intervew with ESPNs Michelle Beisner he says “I obviously would love to have a girlfriend but a girlfriend deserves so much of your time and energy…And if I can’t give them that time and that devotion because of my dedication to football, then I don’t feel like I should almost waste their time.”…

BUT THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLANE THIS VALENTIME’S DAY TWEET JJ???

Happy Valentine’s Day beautiful. — JJ Watt (@JJWatt) February 14, 2015

Clearly, he says he dosent have time for a girlfriend but he sends cryptic love notes on February 14th. You do the math.

Likewise, Adolf Hitler wanted to projec the image that he was to enamored with the preoccupaton of his job to have time for a girlfriend or wife. In fact “In his speeches Hitler claimed that he had never married because he was ‘married to the German people'” (Spartacus). He also was heard to of said, “Imagine if on top of everything else I had a woman who interfered with my work!” (Sereny).

It turns out he was romanticaly involved with a woman name Evan Braun for years, but he kept there 12-year relationship secret from everyone but his inner circle: “Hitler, fearful that the relationship would harm his public image, refused to marry Eva and kept her a state secret, hidden away at his mountain-top residence, the Berghof” (Sherwin).

Concluson: Both JJ Watt and Adolf Hitler made big bold statements about how there to busy to have girlfriends but in realty they were actually just normal horny guys. There public denial of normal human emotions like the desire for love in the name of a nebulus higher calling, as if they both think that is somthing to be celebrated is highley suspicious and deeply troubling.

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Event: JJ Watts foundaton donated sports equipment to the Berlin Area School district in Wicsonsin.

Excited to give $9,889 to Berlin Area School District’s MS in WI for new basketball & VB uniforms and helmet reconditioning. Go Berlin!

— JJ Watt Foundation (@JJWFoundation) February 8, 2015

 

Hypothesis: you know who else gave uniforms and helmets to children from Berlin?

Evidence: In Lewis D. Eigen’s essay on child solders throughout history published in Scriptamus: A journal of science, politics, history, health and medicine, Eigen explanes that “The German ethic of the boy soldier not only encouraged such service but towards the end of the war, the Germans even drafted boys as young as 12 into military service. These children saw extensive action and were among the fiercest and effective German defenders in the Battle of Berlin” (Eigen).

Concluson: Both JJ Watt and Hitler share a unusual predeliction for providing youths from Berlin with helmets and uniforms in a effort to protect themselfs whether it be for sporting or military uses.

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Event: JJ Watt makes sure every one knows how much he values the importence of hard work.

In fact, one time he showed up unannounce after a pop warner football practice just to tell kids that the only way to achieve there dreams is through hard work.

Hypothesis: You know who else told a captive audence that “work will set you free”?

Evidence: Heres JJ Watt stopping by a youth foot ball practice where he tells them at leased 3 times that they need to work hard-

 

Likewise, Hitler felt literaly the exact same way as JJ Watt when it comes to the topic of hard work. As u can see here from M.I.T.’s website is the gates at Dachau one of the most discusting and deadly of the concentraton camps put in place by the Nazis.

MIT.edu

Conclusion: Both Watt and Hitler put a creepy amount of emphasis on the importence of working hard.

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Event: JJ Watts signature looks supiscously like hes writing “S.S. Watt”

Hypothesis: You know who else liked to use the intials “SS”?

Evidence: This is JJ Watts signature:

dacardworld

You can clearley see in the above picture that JJ Watt is allmost goes out of his way to write “SS’ instead’ve “JJ”. For everyone else on the earth except for JJ, the letter “J” is usually written with a curve at the bottom, with the tail of the “J” pointing upwards. JJ however writes his “J’s” with right angels and absolutley NO curve upwards making them, for all intensive purposes, the letter “S.”

Likewise, Hitler was very fond of the SS. As evidentsed in a 1936 paper written by SS leader Heinrich Himmler “The SS as a anti-Bolshevist fighting organization“, the Schutzstaffel was a group of ruthless loyal Nazi solders commonly referred to as the “SS.” This fighting force was “Founded by Adolf Hitler in April 1925 as a small personal bodyguard, the SS grew with the success of the Nazi movement and, gathering immense police and military powers, became virtually a state within a state.”

Conclusion: Both Hitler and JJ Watt share a personal connecton to the letters “SS.”

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Event: J.J. Watt parteners with Barbara Bush to promote literacy for children

 

Always great spending time with the lovely Mrs. Barbara Bush pic.twitter.com/ARjEySasia

— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) December 24, 2014

Hypotheses: You know who else had mutualy beneficial partnerships with the Bush family?

Evidence: Here you can see JJ and the former first lady palling around like there best friends:

Tackling illiteracy with Mrs. Bush pic.twitter.com/7ibqNUy00B — JJ Watt (@JJWatt) April 25, 2014

Likewise, do you know who else had close ties with the Bush family I’ll give you one guess it was Hitler. Barbara Bushes father in-law Prescott Bush was a financer of not only Adolf Hitlers rise to power but also was activley engaged as the director of a bank (UBC) who created shell companys for the Nazis to stash there war chest even as they were in battle against the United States. From The Guardian:

The debate over Prescott Bush’s behaviour has been bubbling under the surface for some time. There has been a steady internet chatter about the “Bush/Nazi” connection, much of it inaccurate and unfair. But the new documents, many of which were only declassified last year, show that even after America had entered the war and when there was already significant information about the Nazis’ plans and policies, he worked for and profited from companies closely involved with the very German businesses that financed Hitler’s rise to power. It has also been suggested that the money he made from these dealings helped to establish the Bush family fortune and set up its political dynasty.

This is insane folks. This is really bad. To put this in a far-out, completeley made-up, impossible, unbelievably false modern analogy this woud be like if the Bush family had had business ties with the Bin Laden family leading up to 9/11 and continueing thereafter even as we were at war against Al-Qaeda and then tried to downplay them later. Thank god that could never happen though.

Concluson: Both Adolf Hitler and JJ Watt have maintaned close business relatonships with members of the Bush family.

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Event: JJ Watt puts up great statistics when the Texans rush more then 4 defensive players

Hypothesis: You know who else enjoyed tremensous success when using the Blitz?

Evidence: From the good people at ProFootballFocus, when the Texans blitzed lastyear, JJ had 242 rushes; 14 Hurries, 16 Hits, 2 Sacks (Palazzolo). In otherwords, he hit the QB or forced a early throw about once in everey 8 pass rushes. Just phenomnal considering that on a blitz, part of his job is to occupy blockers while his teamates get to the QB.

Likewise, Adolf Hitlers war machine wasnt desinged to sustain longterm battles and trench warfare do to the fact that the German factorys and suppliers werent fully ready for war when Hitler decided to begin his invasons of the Sudentenland and Poland. Per Roger Moorhouse, Hitler turned one of his biggest weaknessses into a strength by deploying what is now called blitzkreig warfare (Moorhouse 82). In fact his war verse Poland was so onesided (Reilly 2014) that when John Ellis diagrams the Germen invasion of Poland in his 1993 compilaton World War II: A Statistical Survey, there are no Polish counterattacks to note (22):

Later, when Hitlers forces bypast the Maginot Line (the fortified demarcation zone protecting France from a Germen invasion from the East) by invading through Belgium, “the campaign was characterized by rapid movement- the very epitome of what came to be known as the blitzkreig” (Moorhouse 82). They literaly took over France in 6 weeks.

COnclusion: Although one is primarily known for using it to start unprovoked wars against the vast majorty of his European neighbors in the interest of Lebensraum- or more living space for the Germen people-, and the other does it in football games, both Adolf Hitler and JJ Watt took advantage of the opporunitys afforded to them by using blitzkreig tactics to fuel there assension to prominance.

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Event: JJ Watt doesnt go to bars because it would interfere with his quest to be good at football. He also loves dogs

Hypothesis: You know who else didnt drink and loved dogs?

Evidence: In a intervew with the Associated Press, JJ Watt explaned his tendencys to forgo the bar and club scene in fear that it would interfere with his football career, saying “I’m not going to find a touchdown in a club. I’m not going to find a sack in a bar. So I just stay in my house and enjoy myself” (Rieken).

Moreoever, Watt explicitly dicsussed the health defects associated with drinking alcohol in a interview with Tania Ganguli of the Houston Chronicle.

“The nutritious ramifications are so bad, I can’t, I cannot have a drink in the season, that’s crazy to me,” Watt said. “What we do to our bodies, there’s no way you can put alcohol in your system” (Ganguli).

Likewise Hitler himself abstaned from drinking alcohol so that he could devote more of his energy to the cause of expanding the Germen empire, as explaned in Walter C Langers 1972 book, “The Mind of Adolf Hitler.”

He abstains from these because he is following the example of the great German, Richard Wagner, or because he has discovered that it increases his energy and endurance to such a degree that he can give much more of himself to the creation of the new German Reich (Langer 54-55).

Heres JJ Watt with a dog he loves:

Pinterest

vs:

Pinterest

Conclusion: Both Hitler and Watt publicaly claimd to turn away from drinking alcohol to better dedicate themselves to the misson at-hand, and both shared a fondness for dogs as well.

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Event: JJ Watt was selected 11th overall to be a force on the defensive line for the Texans

Hypothesis: You know who else was passed over multple times in a draft before going on to serve in the trenches?

Evidence: Indeed, 10 teams ahead of the Texans decdied not to pick Watt in the 2011 NFL draft before Gary Kubiak took him number 11 overall at defense of tackle (NFL.com).

Likewise, Hitler spent much of the early 1910s narrowly evading being drafted by the Austrian militery. There was one particlar time when he was caught fleeing the country and nearley forced to report for duty at the outbreak of World War I.

In May 1913, apparently in an attempt to avoid induction into the Austrian military service after he had failed to register for conscription, Hitler slipped across the German border to Munich, only to be arrested and turned over to the Austrian police. He was able to persuade the authorities not to detain him for draft evasion and duly presented himself for the draft physical examination, which he failed to pass. He returned to Munich, and after the outbreak of World War I a year later, he volunteered for action in the German army (Encyclopedia of World Biography).

As a Interor linemen, JJs position is known for doing the dirty, unherelded work, often known as playing “in the trenches” that often goes unnoticed by the casual fan (SportingCharts).

Likewise Adolf Hitler himself was known for serving “in the trenches” in the Germen army from 1914 untill he was temporarily blinded in a gas attack in 1918. Matter fact Hitlers service put him on the Western front which would later become infamous for its use of, you guessed it, trench warfare.

The Western Front was the name the Germans gave to a series of trenches that ran 700 kilometres from the Belgian coast to the Swiss border. To imagine this, think of a ditch deep enough to stand in zigzagging its way alongside the Hume Highway from Melbourne to Canberra. As at Gallipoli, machine-gun fire caused terrible casualties on the Western Front. Both sides had dug trenches, sometimes only metres apart, as their only protection from the murderous gun fire (Anderson).

Conclusio: Both Adolf Hitler and JJ Watt could of been drafted by other groups than the ones they ended up serving in, and both went on to estabilsh a name for thmselves through there actions in various trenches.

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Event: JJ Watt looks like a god damn Aryan wet dream

Houston Chronicle

Hypothesis: You know who else liked blondhair blue-eyed muscular athletes?

Evidence: This is a picture of JJ Watt

One of the most influental people in Hitlers life was Josef Lanz- a former Austrian monk who’s journal, Ostara shaped Hitlers love of the aryan race: “At the center of Lanz’s ideas was the ‘blue-blond,’ the ‘Aryan race’ as the masterpiece of God” (Zentner et al 429).

Conclusion: Through the colors of his hair and eyes as well as his pshsyique, JJ Watt bears a striking resemblences to the ideal Germen whose genes Hitler wished to propogate at the expense of literaly every other type of person in the world.

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Now heres where it starts to get spookey folks…

Event: JJ Watt is proud of his former Winsonsin teammate, and current NFL O-Lineman, Rick Wagner

Hypothesis: You know who else admired the work of Richard Wagner?

Evidence: Before the Texans took on the Ravens last December, JJ was asked about going up verse his old college teammate, Baltimore Ravens Offense of Tackle Rick Wagner and he spoke glowingly.

“He’s a big, athletic guy,” Watt said of Wagner during a conference call with Baltimore reporters. “He was a good basketball player in high school. He’s athletic, can do some things. He’s a big guy and he can use his body well. He’s a good football player.

“I think playing at Wisconsin, they do a great job of preparing you for the next level. So, I don’t think it should be a surprise that he’s come in and been able to have success early on in his career” (Wilson).

Likewise, Adolf Hitler, leader of the third reich and Chancellor of Nazi Germeny, was known to be a unusually large fan of specially fond of 19th century composer Richard Wagner, often dragging his girlfriend and his top generals to see his operas for like a million times. Wagner was known for his creative style of Gesamtkunstwerk, or compleat pieces of art incorprating the audible, the visual, the poetic, and the dramatic. Hitler beleved that Wagners bold style embodyed the essence of the Aryan movement. During one 1922 speech, the Fuhrer declared his admiraton for him, saying Wagners music emboys “the heroic Teutonic nature … Greatness lies in the heroic” (Spotts).

Conclusion: Both Hitler and JJ Watt really like guys name Richard Wagner.

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Event: JJ Watt wears a big orthopedic brace on his left elbow

Hypothesis: You know who else had to brace there left arm?

Evidence: After dilocating his left elbow in traning camp in 2012, JJ has worn the elbow brace for extra support, saying “I’m bringing the brace back just as kind of a security measure, you know, to make sure it stays secure and it stays safe” (ESPN News Services).

Likewise, towards the end of Adolf Hitlers reign over Nazi Germeny, the volitile dictator begin to show signs of either early onset Parkinsons, or perhaps it wassimply a accumulated effect of the scores of nerve-killing drug cocktails he had been on for the passed 10 years. At any rate in this footage he is shown meeting with the Hitler youth army in Berlin, holding his left arm behind his back and grasping a rolled up document as a way of using his forarm muscles to brace his left arm and keep it from shaking badly:

Concluson: Both JJ Watt, and Adolf Hitler braced there left arms, all be it for very different reasons.

In conclusion, there you have it folks. It is undenyable that JJ Watt shares many similarties to either Adolf Hitler himself, or at least the essence of the Third Reich. Let me be clear: I have yet to find any invontrovertable evidence that they are the same person, or that theres a Jurassic part misquito amber type DNA deal going on here, but I also havent found anything to directly disprove that either and as far as Im concern the burden of proof is now on him. I’ve done a good enough job proving my point on this one- its called Godwins law, not God-loses law folks and right now Im in the lead.

I get the feeling alot of folks will try to show me on how correlaton does not equal causaton using some fancy math and a chart, but to them I say “You know who else liked to plot things with a Axis?”

In conclusion, JJ Swattstika, SS Watt, The LuftWatt, JJ Watzi, Adolf HitStick, or Watt Power- any way you want to call him, the next time J.J. Watt shows up on your screen I hope you’ll be smart enough to recognize just how dangerous this man can be, and join me in telling him “Nein! Nein!”

HuffPo

For more reading or to chek my sources please conslut my sources that I’ve listed below.

Bibliography:

“Adolf Hitler.” Encyclopedia of World Biography. 2004. Encyclopedia.com. 26 Mar. 2015 .

Aris, Ben, and Duncan Campbell. “How Bush’s Grandfather Helped Hitler’s Rise to Power.” The Guardian. N.p., 25 Sept. 2004. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Bradley, John. The Illustrated History of the Third Reich. New York: Grosset & Dunlap, 1978. Print.

Delacruz, Amanda. “♥JJ WATT♥.” Pinterest. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

“Draft Tracker.” http://www.nfl.com/draft/2011/tracker#dt-tabs:dt-by-round/dt-by-round-input:1. National Football League, 28 Apr. 2011. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Ellis, John. World War II, a Statistical Survey: The Essential Facts and Figures for All the Combatants. New York: Facts on File, 1993. Print.

Eigen, Lewis D. “Child Soldiers Are Unfortunately Nothing New.” Scriptamus. N.p., 02 Nov. 2009. Web. 30 Mar. 2015.

Ganguli, Tania. “What Didn’t Fit into Sunday’s J.J. Watt Story.” Ultimate Texans. Chron, 14 Oct. 2012. Web. 27 Mar. 2015.

Himmler, Heinrich. “Die Schutzstaffel Als Antibolschewistische Kampforganisation : Heinrich Himmler.” Internet Archive. Zentralverlag Der NSDAP, F. Eher Verlag, 20 Aug. 2009. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Hyde, Amantha. “JJ Watt Calls ‘minimalistic’ Cabin a Miscommunication.” FOX Sports. N.p., 8 Mar. 2015. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

J.J. Watt Foundation (JJWattFoundation). “Excited to give $9,889 to Berlin Area School District’s MS in WI for new basketball & VB uniforms and helmet reconditioning. Go Berlin!” 8 February 2015, 10:54 a.m. Tweet.

Maarit-Johanna. “Adolf Hitler.” Pinterest. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Moorhouse, Roger. The Devils’ Alliance: Hitler’s Pact with Stalin, 1939-41. London: Bodley Head, 2014. Print.

Palazzolo, Steve (PFF_Steve). “Direct Message with Steve Palazzolo” 20 March 2015. Tweet (Direct Message).

Phayre, Ignatius. “Hitler’s Mountain Home, a Visit to ‘Haus Wachenfeld’ in the Bavarian Alps.” Adolf Hitler and Real History. Homes and Gardens, Nov. 1938. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Reilly, Rick (ReillyRick). “Martin Kaymer v 2014 U.S. Open = Germany v 1939 Poland” 13 June 2014, 1:17 p.m. Tweet.

Rieken, Kristie Associated Press. “J.J. Watt doing it all for Texans.” KHOU.com, 17 Oct. 2014. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Sereny, Gitta. Albert Speer: His Battle with Truth. New York: Knopf, 1995. Print.

Services, ESPN.com News. “J.J. Watt Back in Elbow brace.” ESPN. ESPN Internet Ventures, 4 Aug. 2013. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

Sherwin, Adam. “Did Adolf Hitler Marry a Jewish Woman? DNA Tests ‘show Eva Braun Associated with Ashkenazi Jews’.” The Independent. Independent Digital News and Media, 5 Apr. 2014. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

Smith, Brian T. “J.J. Watt Rewards Himself with Log Cabin in ‘middle of Nowhere'” Ultimate Texans. Houston Chronicle, 30 Jan. 2015. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.

“Spartacus Educational.” Spartacus Educational. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Mar. 2015.

Spotts, Frederic (1994), Bayreuth: A History of the Wagner Festival, New Haven and London: Yale University Press. ISBN 978-0-300-06665-4.

“SS | Corps of Nazi Party.” Encyclopedia Britannica Online. Encyclopedia Britannica, 30 Oct. 2014. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

“The Mind of Adolf Hitler”, Walter C. Langer, New York 1972 p.54-55

“Trenches Definition – Sporting Charts.” What Is Trenches? Definition from SportingCharts.com. Sporting Charts, n.d. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

Watt, J.J. (JJWatt). “Tackling illiteracy with Mrs. Bush” 25 April 2014, 3:17 p.m. Tweet.

Zentner, Christian, Friedemann Bedürftig, and Amy Hackett. The Encyclopedia of the Third Reich. New York: Macmillan, 1991. Print.