Al Davis Is Interviewing Everyone In His Rolodex

01.20.10 8 years ago 149 Comments

Introducing Mrs. Coach Featherbottom.

Just in case he ever does get around to firing his current coach, Raiders owner Al Davis is busy assembling a list of potential successors. The interviews have already begun (I like to think that he makes Tom Cable watch), and the names are sure to bowl you over.

Two people on his interview list have been identified as former Giants coach Jim Fassel, who now coaches UFL champion Las Vegas, and former Raiders offensive coordinator Marc Trestman, the head coach of CFL champion Montreal.

Several sources, including one within the organization, believe Davis may re-interview 2009 candidates Kevin Gilbride, the Giants’ offensive coordinator, and Winston Moss, a Packers assistant head coach, if he hasn’t already.

Of course that’s just the beginning. Continue after the jump for the FULL list.

Martha Coakley
Conan O’Brien
John Shoop
Gary Crowton
Sherman Lewis
Sherman Smith
Sherman Helmsley
Bum Phillips
Panama Lewis
Lane Kiffin
Vlad the Impaler
Amy Trask
The late George Michael
Marty Schottenheimer
Gilbert Arenas
Tiger Woods
Centenarian former Pinkerton agent
Tom Cable in a wig and dress
Jim Zorn
George Allen
Fidel Castro
Buck Showalter
Jeff Van Gundy
Butch Harmon
Paula Abdul
Dick Ebersol
Chan Gailey (Fuck tampering!)
Eliot Spitzer
Cam Cameron
Buddy Ryan
Rob Ryan
Ryan Seacrest
Bubb Rubb
Mike Shanahan’s non-union Mexican equivalent.
Raider Milt
Tila Tequila
JaMarcus Russell
Jeff Dunham (racist puppets as assistant coaches)
Bill Simmons
Foge Fazio
Rex Ryan
Nolan Ryan
Meg Ryan
Ryan Adams
Canteen Boy
Harmony Korine
Pam Ward
Tracy McGrady
Ron Fucking Swanson
Leslie Frazier
Joe Frazier
Walt Frazier
Tommie Frazier
Frasier Crane
Art Shell
Omar Minaya
Roger Ebert
Manny Pacquiao
Tom Walsh
Bobby Finstock
John Goodman as Coach Harris
John Madden
Matt Millen
The Situation
“The Coach” Jonathan Coachman
Douglas “Swish” Reemer
Frank Sinatra Jr.
Rusty Shackleford
Cousin Darwish

The list might look a bit long, but remember, Count Al’s interviews only last about 90 seconds each.

So who is your pick to coach the Silver and Black?

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