Drew Brees: Uh oh, guys! Hurricane’s coming!
Marques Colston: Aw, shit. Not again!
Scott Fujita: Another season in turmoil!
Reggie Bush: So many displaced citizens!
Jeremy Shockey: So when does the raping start?
Devery Henderson: Yo, that’s some fucked up shit.
Jeremy Shockey: That’s what I thought happens when hurricanes come through the bayou. People have a bunch of king cake and rape the shit out of each other. That’s the only reason I agreed to this trade.
[Shockey smashes storefront window]
I’m finding, not looting!
Mark Brunell: And when does the blaming the destruction on the city on the sins of the Big Easy start? There was just a big homofestival of homosexuals right before Gustav came rolling into town. That makes for good evangelizin’!
Hurricane Gustav: ‘ow dare vous eee-vacuatre zis city before I kin commence with wreaking zee havoc! Geet back from your sheethole in Indianapol-ees. Geaux and show some balls, les Saints, vous bunch of filth-zy Mohammedians! I’ll tear vous Supairedome leem from leem!
Gustav: Aaaaiieeee! I sur-ren-daire!