Last November, the Pittsburgh Steelers rolled into Raljon with thousands of Terrible Towel waving fans in tow and kicked the living bejesus out of the Washington Redskins. The Skins brain trust immediately went to work to remedy the most glaring shortcoming. Did they adjust their pass-rush schemes? Tinker with their zone blocking? No, that would require actual football acumen. Rather the following week, the team handed out towels of their own. The move was widely ridiculed and relegated to the dustbin of failed promotions—or so we thought.
But this weekend, the Steelers are coming back to DC. So in an effort to avoid embarrassment (in the stands, at least) the Skins are bringing the idea out of mothballs and will distribute 50,000 of the “Redskins Rally” towels to fans. The team is eschewing their traditional burgundy and gold for the presumably cheaper white. Because nothing says “stand brave and fight” like waving a white flag above one’s head.
“I think it’s fun that we’re doing the same thing. It’s a preseason game, but you know what, we’ve got great fans. I think Dan wants to continue to show his support and his enthusiasm for this team, for this community, so I think it’s all in … good fun. He’s competitive. We’re competitive. Now, I don’t know if there’s going to be battle of the towels or whatever. But it’ll be fun.”
You know what’s a good way to reveal that you don’t think something is a very good idea? Keep repeating how “fun” it is over and over. Unless, where Zorn comes from “fun” means “horribly unoriginal and embarrassing”. In that case, I completely agree. Seriously, there are several characteristics of the Steelers worthy of emulation– but flourishing your jizz mopper is not one of them.