Rob Ryan is promising to “get weird” in New Orleans this year. But what is “weird” to Rob Ryan? Most expect that we’ll see some three safety sets, but there’s the possibility for so much more from the mind of Wolfman Rob even if it’s not all “legal.”
• 11 pass rushers
• Regular 4-3 defense, but the middle linebacker is a guy riding a mini tank
• Breaking the huddle with 10 defensive players, then sending an 11th flying in off of the sidelines as the ball is snapped
• Full moon defense where everyone turns into a wolf and starts tearing out throats like they’re protecting House Stark
• Nickel package includes Lingerie Football League player.
• All defensive formations are named after ZZ Top songs
• Hobo paid to ejaculate on the gameball between plays
David Wilson reportedly “needs a miracle” to get back on the football field after his latest setback. And while I’m sure he wants nothing more than to come back from his FUCKING SPINAL FUSION, maybe this is a good time for him to take a step back, meet with his financial adviser, and do what he needs to do to continue walking and breathing.