The draft has come and gone, but there are still plenty of under the radar picks we could know a bit better. After all, most of us didn’t bother sitting through three horrible days of the NFL Draft.
Name: Marcus Lattimore
Position: Running back
Selected by: San Francisco, with one of their thirty-seven draft picks picks
Pick: Fuck if I know, they had like forty of them.
School: South Cackalacky
Click clack? Yeah yeah, click clack.
Major: Public health
Outback or Capital One? No, the sport.
But that doesn’t even come with an PSP and a shitty Fossil watch: I know, people are weird.
What he tweets about: Verizon Wireless, the Bible and grinding
Appropriate song that accompanies his (awesome) highlight reel: All of the Lights
Strengths: Extremely gifted runner with excellent vision and nimble feet.
Nicest comparison: Arian Foster
Most convenient comparison: Frank Gore
Saddest comparison: Boobie Miles with better doctors
Loved by: Fellow Cocks
Hated by: Plain old cocks
What scouts are saying: “HOLY SHIT, LEGS DON’T BEND THAT WAY”
Immediate impact: PUP List
Isn’t that the name of your future Tumblr? No, that’s PUPPY List, and it’s going to be amazing.
Down the road: A replacement for Frank Gore in San Francisco