Better Know A Former Backup QB: Jason Garrett

05.22.14 4 years ago 21 Comments

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In order to get you through the drudgery of the off-season, we here at KSK are cranking up the nostalgia machine and looking at some of the immortal backup quarterbacks in NFL history. You’ve loved some of these guys, and utterly fucking loathed others, but you definitely remember them. Either way, you might be wondering what they’ve been up to since leaving their clipboard duties, so that’s why we proudly present our new series, Better Know A Backup Quarterback. Today, we look at former Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants QB Jason Garrett, who has kept a relatively low profile since retiring in 2000.

– Has three brothers named John, Judd, and Jim, so he comes from one of those families.

– Went to Princeton, and left as the all-time passing leader in Ivy League history, but his records were eventually broken by Gavin Hoffman.

– How great of a rich kid name is Gavin Hoffman?

– Ended up playing in that one Thanksgiving game that one year when Aikman was hurt, which now gets shown on Thanksgiving every year since he coaches the Cowboys. He wasn’t even all that good in that game, but it’s like, “Oh yeah, this dude actually played on Thanksgiving once!” Right when the announcers have officially run out of things to talk about (“So….uh….turkey sure does taste pretty good huh, Jim?”), that’s the cue to play the clip of Garrett throwing a touchdown pass in that game.

– Oh, right: he is the current head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

– On October 27, 2014, he will become the former head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

– On January 4th, 2015, he will become the offensive coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

– Is the second best coach the succeed Wade Phillips, below Mike Shanahan, but still far ahead of Gregg Williams.

– Number of times he’s had that dream where we beats Jerry Jones to death with a tire iron, by season:

  • 2010: 45
  • 2011: 112
  • 2012: 120
  • 2013: 187

– After a third straight 8-8 season, Garrett was stripped of the right to call plays, but allowed to stay on as head coach of the team. This gives a clear indication that Jerry Jones has entered the Mr. Burns “I’ll bide my time, let him twist in the wins for awhile….” stage of his life.

– Seriously, this man has to deal with Jerry Jones, every day. All joking aside, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, and I offer Mr. Garrett my deepest sympathies.

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