Congratulations, Arseblog. You are a sports blog that follows a single team in the English Premier League, and also the hands-down winner of the 2007 Bloggie Award for Best Sports Blog. You often post as many as one times a day. Recent ledes have included:
March 5th: “…there’s rather a dearth of news this morning.”
March 11th: “A very quiet Sunday morning for you. Not much happening…”
March 12th: “…As you can see there’s very little going on in the world of Arsenal this morning.”
Holy shit that’s riveting. I can’t believe we got nominated to share the stage with such esteemed company.
Obviously, the Bloggies are dead to us. Unlike the Weblog Awards, which were an obvious farce, the Bloggies are masked in a veil of legitimacy, which makes this straight-faced joke of a Shakespeare in Love selection even more insulting. Personally, I think this is Deadspin’s fault. That gadfly upstart Leitch totally split the Kissing Suzy Kolber vote.
There’s good news, though. After three months of sequestered deliberation, the KSK Gay Mafia has emerged from our secret headquarters high in the Andes, and we’re pleased to announce that the winner of the first annual Kissing Suzy Kolber Blog of the Year for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence is none other than…
…KISSING SUZY KOLBER!!!
“Oh wow. Oh my God. I… I had no idea. I thought With Leather had a chance to win the Kissing Suzy Kolber Blog of the Year for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence, but this means so much more.
“Ummm. Umm. Wow. Who to thank? Whoooooooo to thank. My parents, for believing I could establish the best politically incorrect/profane humor sports blog on the Internet. Desiree at Cheetah’s and of course Ruby at Gold Rush. My agent, Byrd Leavell, who’s been great about sending me the absolute cleanest call girls, even when I call him coked out of my mind at 3:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning.
“But mostly, I have to thank the other writers at KSK who make this site so great. Christmas Ape, Monday Morning Punter, flubby, and that tiny black man, Unsilent Majority. They’re just the funniest and foulest Internet friends a man can have.
“Holy crap! Wait wait wait! I can’t believe I forgot such an important part of the puzzle. The person who made so many of the jokes come alive and live on across the Internet: Footsteps Falco. God rest his soul.
“Finally, fuck Arsenal. I couldn’t be happier they shat the bed on their way out of the Carling Cup, Champions League, and FA Cup. I’m not even sorry Thierry Henry’s out for the rest of the season. Nyah, Nyah. Suck it, Gooners.”