Bonfire of the Vanity Plates

09.29.08 9 years ago 18 Comments

As an alum of the University of Merlin, I’ve seen many a celebratory bonfire in my days, albeit with couches serving as kindling in lieu of cars. Still, something about this one that followed the Jets’ drubbing of the Cardinals strikes me as all too familiar. Possibly because half the kids that go to Maryland come from fucking Jersey. You can just tell when a good conflagration has that distinctive Jersey touch stench.

0:04 — No exploding cigar? And I thought you guys were committed to mayhem.

0:10 — “That’s a fucking picture YESSSSSSSS!” No doubt it will fit nicely into the Tragedies of Jersey triptych he’s putting together.

0:38 — “This was an unexpected surprise.” I’m assuming he means the Jets victory.

0:53 — What’s with the rush to take a picture? As if burned out cars, houses, public buildings, Sheetz stations weren’t the norm around there.

1:02 — “That’s an all-aluminum frame too!” Just think what that’ll fetch at the scrap yard. I call dibs!

1:07 — Who needs hoses when Fireman Ed can easily yell the fire out?

1:12 — J-E-T-S chant while the blaze is being extinguished. C’mon flame, you can get that second wind and scorch the rest of the state, can’t you?

1:30 — What’s what with the Jerricho Cotchery and Wayne Chrebet unis? Peter King thinks these people are all fucking ingrates.

[Busted Coverage]

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