Today, it is my sad duty to announce that the once-proud partnership between Corporate Peezy, LLC and the Miami Dolphins football club has come to a swift and absolute end. Our time together was a valuable and cherished one and Peezy has no regrets (he never do), but now it is clear that in order to survive we must part ways.
Peezy will go the way of respect, as he so often does.
Them Dolphins has decided to go another route.
DOWN THAT ROUTE LEADS DISPESPECT! AND FAILURE! BECAUSE AS AN ORGANIZATION, THEY DO NOT STRESS RESPECT!
Here is an anecdote I use to illustrate their lack of respect: Peezy come in to train during Super Bowl week because his professionalism sets the industry standard. Peezy could be at the beach, he could be at son’s soccer game fighting with disrespectful parent.
Nuh-uh. PEEZY PUT IN WORK! Hit them weights. Work on simulated MOUF FIXIN’ device. All that shit they don’t teach you on TV. Dedication.
So Peezy in the training room trying to be all he can be. And what does he find? Yellow Vitamin Water.
PEEZY DON’T DRINK NO GAY ASS YELLOW VITAMIN WATER! THEY KNOW THAT! PEEZY TOLD THEM! THAT’S DISRESPECT!
So Peezy respond the only way a man of integrity can: He got on that Jim Rome Show and said to LET OUR PEEZY GOOOOO!
What happened? Them bitches waited ONE WHOLE WEEK to let them Peezy go.
That just mean Dolphins get to be the all-time super Huckleberry next year. Peezy gonna cash on an uncapped offseason. Ginna find a team that respect the way bidness be run. Then he uncap his guns and bust shots in YO WATER MAMMAL MOUF! DON’T THINK PEEZY DON’T KNOW ABOUT DOLPHIN! HE KNOW!