Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari had their wedding ceremony in Nashville over the weekend. The Daily Mail came through with photos, which is helpful for the all-important task of laughing at things Cutty does. Some folks have been gagging on Cutler for having a one-day growth of face scruff at his wedding, but I have a hard time mocking him for that, and it doesn’t take much for me to laugh at Cutler. Honestly, that’s more or less his regular look. So I’ll just go with the old standby of putting captions over stupid faces.
— RGIII had to assure the media that his honeymoon won’t have an adverse effect on rehabbing his knee. Reading between the lines, we can take this as a promise that he’s plant his weight on his other leg when sexing his new wife.
— Roger Goodell sent a reply to the two percent of Congress that a strongly worded letter to Dan Snyder asking him to change the Redskins’ name. The short version: “Sorry you’re offended, but until a majority of Americans are, I ain’t doing sh*t. Now suck it and watch me do a set of squat cleans.”
— Tony Romo told assembled members of the media that they don’t matter, which is true and admirable. Nevertheless, this will only result in double Romo trolling when things inevitably fall apart at the end of this season.
— Darren Sharper making runs at cougars in the gym. Isn’t Darren Sharper 37 years old? Afraid you’ve aged out of the cougar market, champ.
— The NFLPA is releasing a LGBT-friendly clothing line. Surprisngly, Mike Wallace and Chris Culliver aren’t among the available player numbers you get on the back of the One Team Pride shirt, though Terrell Suggs was a little unexpected.
— Donte Stallworth on his hot air balloon accident from a few months back: “Literally, my butt caught on fire. And she was on fire as well.”
— DeSean Jackson is tired of the indecision and would like to know right now who will be the Eagles starting quarterback. Possibly so he knows who to apologize in advance to for drive-killing 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.