Dispelling the steroid myth so Peter King can get some shut-eye

05.13.10 8 years ago 65 Comments

It nearly broke my heart to read the above Twitter Page Posting from Peter King this morning. King, who has amused and inspired football fans for years, obviously has a strong moral compass and is dismayed at what he perceives as Blatant Flouting of the Rules by Brian Cushing. In case you have been living on Lost Island, after the Defensive Rookie of the Year was suspended for violating the leagues Drug Policy, the Associated Press ordered a revote for the Coveted Award. Cushing won the revote too– much to the consternation of King and Legal/Football Mastermind Andy Florio, among others.

I understand why they are frustrated. They fear the league has come untethered from its ethical moorings. However, these strong, well-intentioned feelings are based upon a false belief that steroids are cheating because they make you a bigger, faster, stronger, more resilient athlete. This is hogwash. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS STEROIDS!

Think about it. How can something you put into a needle make you play football better? We’re expected to believe that if you put some gloopy-glop in your heinie you magically turn into the next Joe DeLamielleure? It doesn’t make sense. This is “Real Life” not Science Fiction.

Don’t get me wrong, I favor a strong Drug Policy. If you want to smoke acid or pop Ludes, then there is no place for you in Sports and you should be banned for life. But don’t get roped into this Junk Science about steroids (a/k/a “magic pixie dust”). If you are smart enough to turn on a computer find this blog on the internet, then you are smart enough to use some Common Sense.

It’s called the “Plassybow Effect”. Look it up.

Think about it. If making a great football player was as easy as swallowing a pill or taking a shot, then why on earth would someone pay Brian Cushing or Schuawynne Merriman a gazillion dollars? If steroids really existed, owners wouldn’t go to the Combine to find talent– they’d go to Home Depot. There they could pick up a couple dozen day laborers and use their “magic steroids” to turn them into a team of Formidable Mexican Juggernauts who would play for forty bucks a game. But they don’t because THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS STEROIDS!

So chin up, Mr. King. The mainstream media is selling you a bill of goods with all this steroids mumbo-jumbo. I hope you realize it soon. Maybe tomorrow when you wake up, instead of feeling sick, you’ll be hankering for a good cup of joe.

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