Mike Shanahan drove his golf cart into the one that ‘Skins linebacker/odd choice for Geico pitchman Brian Orakpo was riding during a tournament today at Trump National, which is touted as being in D.C., but actually resides in the former Patton Oswalt stomping grounds of STERLING, VIRGINIA (BURKA BURKA BURRRRRRRRR). Unsilent has the right idea by suggesting that Orakpo show up at OTAs with a neck brace.
– Bernard Pollard doesn’t believe that football will exist in 20 or 30 years, possibly because he’s going to dive headfirst into its knees.
– The Titans have been targeting players with a wrestling background. Should be noted that unfortunately that’s real wrestling and not WRASSLIN’ [Cena sucks]
– Dreamboat, Wes Welker and Bill Belichick went to the Kentucky Derby over the weekend. Massholes are shocked and dismayed to discover that Brady was actually OUTQUEEAHED BY WELKAH! NAWT YOU TOO, LITTLE BUDDY! In other news, Belichick cut loose and let his MILF wear one of the big hats.
– There’s a report that the suspended but still interim Saints coach Joe Vitt instructed Anthony Hargrove to lie about the existence of the bounty program. Once again, this Saints season is going to be so fun.
– The Bills gave Fred Jackson a contract extension. Because when you can lock down a 31-year-old running back coming off a broken leg, you do it.