FedEx Field security guard makes strong case he should be team’s starting QB

12.22.13 4 years ago

I mean, just look at that form.

Poise? Check. Toughness? Check. Downfield accuracy? Check. Did I just complete the pun trifecta? CHECK.

With RGIII shelved for the season and Kirk Cousins 0-2 at the helm, Washington could do worse than to give this guy a shot. Hell, even noted robber baron Dan Snyder could cash in on the Hollywood rights to the story. Who doesn’t love a feel-good sports flick, especially one that starts with Vin Diesel throwing Shia LeBeouf down a flight of stairs? Crazy people, that’s who.

Anyway, if there’s justice in this world, that guy just earned himself a promotion. And hopefully later he tossed the bro in the Peyton Manning Bronco’s jersey clear onto the field.

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