Fictional Cheerleader Biography: Rhonda

05.02.08 10 years ago 24 Comments

Rhonda recently graduated with a doctoral degree in physics from Emory University and, as a weekend diversion, decided to join the Cardinals’ cheerleading squad because it’s the closest franchise to her home in New Mexico, where she works at Los Alamos National Laboratory. There, she is helping to refine the Orion Laser, which is already powerful enough to mimic a nuclear explosion.

Once completed, she plans to seize control of the laser and use it to destroy all of Europe. “Bitches had it coming,” she’ll say.

Rhonda also frequently questions Jason Whitlock’s blackness.

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