During tonight’s Monday Night Football game between the Denver Broncos and San Diego Chargers, golfer Phil Mickelson is going to attempt to hit a 5-foot bull’s-eye in the end zone from the opposite end zone for a charity challenge benefiting First Book, a non-profit organization that donates books to children in need. If FIGJAM hits the bull’s-eye, the kids will get $1 million dollars worth of books; middle ring, $250,000 worth of books; outer ring, $100,000 worth of books; the green, $50,000 worth of books; and past the end zone and into the tunnel, underprivileged children will have to make due with half-burned copies of A Light in the Attic.
Since my attempts to watch golf usually end up with me napping and hitting a ball a hundred yards doesn’t sound that difficult for a golfer of Mickelson’s caliber, a few suggestions on how to make this event a bit more challenging and entertaining:
Mickelson has to ten seconds to make the shot before Von Miller and Shaun Phillips start running at him from the ten yard line.
Hole-in-John Elway giant clown mouth to return the ball.
Guess how many sand wedges you can fit into the back of Peyton Manning’s Buick.
Wii setting, difficult.
Hang time competition between Mickelson and Philip Rivers.
Just as Mickelson goes to take the shot, he pauses to remind the crowd of 70,000 at Qualcomm Park about the real tragedy of three orcas being held captive just down the road at Sea World and quietly whispers, “This is for Nakai.”
Attempting to hit 100 yards on Golden Tee while doing “fire on the prairie” shots with John Fox and Norv Turner.
Ball retrieval at Naval Base San Diego.
Directly handing a dozen books to Willis McGahee for his kids, the extra books to make sure he’s covered for the next three children.
The event is sponsored by KPMG, their name to be added to the pantheon of financial service companies you would have never heard of if they didn’t underwrite golf events.