From L to R: Guy who’s not James Brown, annoying hillbilly, jackass, annoying jackass, dude who
used to be kinda chill but now appears on television with hillbillies and jackasses, and chick
who thinks wearing two belts is going to fool someone.
FOX and Burger King apologized to Jessica Simpson for a cartoon sketch that poked fun at her weight during last Sunday’s “FOX NFL Sunday.” Why Burger King would think it’s a good business decision to mock the overweight is beyond me. Who do they think eats all those Triple Whoppers with cheese (1200 calories)? Poor Jess will probably take her business to Jack in the Box.
However, if it weren’t for this apology, I would not have been aware of the offending bit. [Here’s a link if you feel the need to watch a bad recording of an unfunny cartoon.] I didn’t see it when it aired originally because, as you are probably aware, “FOX NFL Sunday” is fugging lousy and I avoid it like a bad case of the clap. Over the years I have developed a strict pregame show viewing hierarchy which kept Fox’s pregame “humor” from my notice. Since you are dying to hear more about it, here goes:
1) Spend vast majority of the time watching NFL Network’s “GameDay Morning”. It’s not perfect, but it’s on the air first and the cut-ins to the various stadiums is usually handy for last minute fantasy football lineup changes—which offsets having to put up with Michael Irvin. The addition of Stacey Dales this season didn’t hurt and she’s waaay more bearable than Berman.
Gratuitous picture of Stacy Dales.
2) If that’s at commercial, then I flip to ESPN’s “Sunday NFL Countdown”. ESPN could wrest away my number one spot if they would just put Berman out to pasture. Cris Carter has come a long way since his days on HBO’s “Inside the NFL” and Keyshawn’s buffoonery is usually entertaining.
3) If both programs are at commercial and it looks like it will be more than 30 seconds until commercials are over, I grudgingly flip to CBS’s “The NFL Today” and pray that Shannon Sharpe isn’t talking. I think Bill Cowher is on this show, but I make it this far down the list so infrequently that I’m not entirely sure about that.
4) If all three are on commercial: surf for porn and/or play Farmville.
5) If I’ve already done 1-4, then silence and contemplative reflection—but no FOX pregame.