It’s like the producers took exception to all the complaints about this season being boring and said, “Yeah, that’s cool, now you have to watch Marquis Spruill’s ACL surgery.” I mean, I can’t say I really learned anything about how ACL surgeries work, but I got to see shredded tendons up close. That’s something.
This episode had a decent amount of Roddy White joking around and Bryan Cox talking, so it can;t be said that they aren’t trying at all. Roddy White and his fellow receivers play a game that involves catching a dollar before it hits the ground. Roddy White is comically bad at this game, which clearly presages a poor season ahead. I’m sure of it.
Matt Ryan made a pussy joke! Kind of! It involves kids trying to catch ducks with duct tape. Oh ho, that’s silly, says some old person in the joke, but it works. Then they have pussy willow! It’s funny because vagina. Anyway, it sounds like a joke Monte Kiffin should be telling.
The wide receivers went bowling because, in addition to ziplining and an aquarium visit, the Falcons players will do every free-time activity that makes for a slightly adventurous first date. Harry Douglas bowls surprisingly well, even though his form includes chucking the ball up in the air. That seems designed to damage the floor, but you can’t argue with the results.
T.J. Yates getting to play against his former team is a not-insignificant storyline in this episode, which is really what I should have led with in my recap. “Hard Knocks counting on T.J. Yates to carry emotional heft.”
After that, a tight end gives us an impromptu ukelele cover of “Just a Friend” and Sam Baker is lost for the season to injury. It’s always great to bookend episodes with catastrophic knee explosions.
Finally, there was an awesome shot of J.J. Watt arriving at a joint Falcons/Texans practice. I’d like to believe this is a signal that NFL Films is upset that they would rather be covering any other team that the Falcons.