Late this afternoon the NFL announced the second of the now two annual NFL games in London for 2013, the Minnesota Vikings hosting the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers-Vikings match joins the previously announced Wembley 2013 game between fierce rivals Jacksonville Jaguars and the San Francisco 49ers, which means at least one team has to take a transatlantic flight back and forth from the West Coast. The length of this flight, in case you forgot, was the cause of the deep leg thrombosis that killed Heavy D last year when he flew home to LA from London, so obviously putting players even bigger in size than a rapper named Heavy D who have been smashing against each other with the force of two “radio cars” (trying to use the local jargon here) on the field for sounds like flippin’ flim-flamest-flam idea. Even on a private jet — not that I would know first hand — it’s about a nine hour flight from London to San Francisco.
The Vikings give up a home game which is good since their old stadium is so terrible they’re trying to replace it and the Steelers keep a home game which is good because it seems to be the only place they can win these days.
And while I am against NFL games held in London 99.9% of the time, I’ll let this one slide if it means I have an excuse to go to London, because frankly, it’s a great drinking city with or without football. While I am not worried about the players getting into any trouble while there, although the James Harrison in a Royal Doulton china shop jokes do write themselves, I am a little more than concerned about what happens when a few thousand Pittsburghers descend on a city that already serves fries with most of their snack foods and discover a populace that manages to smoke more than they do. They may not leave and increase the number of unemployed steel workers in Great Britain to such an such an extend it drags down the EU even further.
Ha ha! I’m just kidding and am sure we’ll meet up at the Tate Modern to wave our Towels pre-game.
Oh yeah, and let’s just get this Big Ben-Big Ben thing out of the way now.