Because every song parody being put out right now is either playing off “Call Me Maybe” or Gotye, here’s one of the latter gagging on Colts and Broncos fans coping with their departed QBs. Eh, I’ll at least say for this one that the production value is decent.
– The Pro Bowl is back, y’all. Stifle those groans, because the players have promised to kinda try a little harder. Though no promises have been made about two-thirds of them bowing out as soon as the rosters are announced.
– Nick Mangold’s quest to set Tim Tebow up with fellow virginal athlete Lolo Jones is still a thing, only now with T-shirts. I didn’t get the chocolate milk reference on the shirt at first, either, because I mostly try to avoid any updates on this, but apparently it’s a reference to Jones jokingly asking on Twitter what type of milk she should serve Teebs during their meeting of the innocents. Pretty sad that Nick is expending all this effort on Tebow and not helping out Holley Mangold. That’s snubbing family and a fellow Olympian.
– Upon receiving the boot from the Indoor League Team he played for, T.O. had to return the Jeep Wrangler they gave him. It’s okay, though the team cut him a severance check for $50 in exchange for his ownership stake in the team. That much? He must have had a controlling stake in the franchise.
– Browns receiver Greg Little lost 11 pounds by forgoing his Thursday night ritual of eating “seven to 10” of Chris Gocong’s wife’s cupcakes. Earlier this month, Jets running back Joe McKnight blamed his 16-pound weight gain on “eaing a lot of McDonald’s”. See, it’s not just Peter King who was refusing the smart science people diets.
– “THE BEN NO HAPPY! BOSS TODD WANT DO MORE HANDOFF PLAY BECAUSE WATCHER PEOPLE LIKE SEE BALL ON GROUND WITH RUNNING GUY! BEN WANT HUCK ‘EM CHUCK ‘EM!”
– An NFL Films producer would have us believe that the Dolphins were the only team that they considered for “Hard Knocks” despite the reports connecting every other team but the Jaguars to a potential offer to be this year’s subject of the series. [Swirls finger in pot] “Hmmm. Methinks I detect a hint of the bullsh*t.”
– Hines Ward now numbell one smaltest anaryst on Footbarr Night in Arr Unite State. Because I’d been thinking what that show really needed was an 8,000th panelist. Anyway, with Hines and Rodney Harrison now both involved, chances are good PK and Florio will be taken down with an assortment of blindside shots to the head.
– Due to Ufford scheduling complications, the mailbag will have to wait until Friday. Our apologies. You can continue to send questions, if you so desire/require – firstname.lastname@example.org