How Did Derek Carr Hurt His Ring Finger?

05.20.15 3 years ago 46 Comments
San Francisco 49ers v Oakland Raiders

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According to Chris Mortensen on Twitter, Derek Carr has an unexplained right ring finger injury that may require surgery and keep him out of OTAs. Since they won’t divulge the cause of this injury, it’s our job as the sports journalists of America to blindly speculate as to what happened. Our KSK panel of experts* came up with what we feel are the most logical explanations for Carr’s mystery injury.

*Not experts

Trevor – Throwing Up Al Davis’ gang sign.

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Dave – Won 1st place in Mario Kart and fist pumped a low ceiling.
Spilly – Clicking too hard on Derek Carr trade rumor stories.
StuScotBooyahs – Wanted to see if his wife’s wedding ring would fit.
Dave – Jumped off a swing to impress his big bro.
Trevor – Rehearsing bedroom pleasuring techniques.
RFD – Jammed it misjudging a line drive playing in a 16 inch softball league he had a Groupon for.
Ape – Forgot bowling requires you to release the ball, not smack it against the pins.
Trevor – Went undercover in Germany and did “ze german three”.

dirkthree

Dave – Had a run in with the Yakuza.
PFTC – Hurt it taking a sack while playing as the 2002 Texans in Madden.
StuScotBooyahs – Tried to dislodge a big piece of potato in the blender that just wouldn’t go.
Ape – Touched Mark Davis’ face, got leprosy.
Spilly – Got it stuck during private nasal exploration, required crowbar for extraction.
RFD – Got it stuck in a CD from the ’90s when he stuck his finger through the hole in the middle to make it look like a boob and nipple.
StuScotBooyahs – Wanted to see what crawled into that hole in the riverbank.
Dave – Coach told him it was extremely rude to point but Carr wouldn’t listen.
OldJames – Oakland’s team doctor was testing his reflexes with a blacksmith hammer.
StuScotBooyahs – Wanted to see what would happen if he used a deli slicer on a football.
Dave – Bet his friends that he could put it between the blades of a moving fan without getting hit.
Ape – Trent Richardson tried to carry his finger for 3 yards instead of the football.
Spilly – Smuggled onions to Stannis Baratheon.
RFD – Sliced it wide open on a mandoline.
OldJames – Probably isn’t the first time Sea-bass pulled a finger on instinct.
Dave – Got carelessly aggressive during routine fingernail nibble.

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