Well, the Patriots are going to win this game by at least a dozen touchdowns. Not that that’s out of the way – let’s focus on Danny Woodhead boasting the highest-selling shirt among all Patriots players. On one hand, yes, Woodhead is relatively new to the team, so that novelty is going to spike sales on its own. If you wanted a Tom Brady shirt, you’ve had roughly about a decade to get one.
On the other, more clearly racist, hand: Woodhead is a goddamn back-up running back, serving the same role that Kevin Faulk has FOR YEARS. And doing about as good a job at it as Kevin Faulk has, again, FOR YEARS. So the fact that there’s such a rush to buy merch for such a minor contributor cannot be the result of anything else but a love for less gangly versions of Shaggy.
For the sake of full disclosure I should admit that I’ll be spending Christmas with my girlfriend’s family in Stoughton, MA, which is apparently only minutes away from Foxborough. We’ll take turns bludgeoning daahkies and not denying the veracity of what the other has said. Should be magical.