Jon Kitna: Stereotypical Jock Teacher

05.21.12 6 years ago 27 Comments

We know you’ve been dying to know the affairs of Jon Kitna ever since Neckbeard replaced him as the guy to back up Tony Romo in Dallas. Well, it turns out Kitna is pursuing the career he thought he was going to have all along: teaching. The Seattle Times has the story about how Kitna never expected to make the NFL coming out of Central Washington University and how he assumed he would go right into the classroom. He’s there now, teaching math class and coaching football at the most disadvantaged school in the district. A noble calling, surely, but I’m mostly concerned with the above photo and caption.

Former Seahawks quarterback Jon Kitna watches as a student gives him 10 push-ups at the end of class after losing a bet he could throw a piece of paper across the room and land it in the trash can.

“THOMPSON! You call that a parabola!? That wasn’t anywhere near the can. Need to check your work, son. Now get up here and hit the deck. I want 12 sets of push-ups and the rest of you pukes are gonna give me the standard deviation or you’re gonna be up here with him.”

I also love the fact that Kitna, like all truly befuddled public school teachers, is completely confounded by how to work the overhead projector.

Start with the fact that Kitna is used to learning a playbook, not putting one together for the day’s lesson. Throw in the overhead projectors and the graphing calculators — which Kitna didn’t use in high school — and, well, there are times when staring down a blitz would feel more comfortable than standing in the pocket of his classroom.

“The technology is completely overwhelming,” Kitna says.

To be fair, I’m not sure I ever really knew how to operate a graphing calculator, either. That is, except for the set of games that I got one of the smart kids to install on my TI-82.

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