Today is 20th annual National Coming Out Day, in which “members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and tranny hooker communities and their supporters (often referred to as “allies” or, if you’re the Dead Tree Crew, “FAGGOTS”) show pride and wish for planets full of unicorns. It is highly encouraged for participants in this movement to wear identifying symbols, such as the pink triangle, Ravens jerseys, the Greek letter lambda and rainbows, in jewelry and on their clothing, to demonstrate their presence in all walks of life, all ages and all ethnic groups.”
I know, I know. Hold off on the predictable jokes about Jeff Garcia and the Mannings for a sec, won’t you, Tony Dungy? We’re here to honor people like Ufford, possessed of homicidal rage but comfortable enough in their sexuality to wear pinstripe pants and pink shirts.
This week’s Meast is Mike Sellers, who, despite having played in the CFL, is a killer of men, tamer of Lions, and also an accenter of beards. It’s those small stylistic touches that nicely top off a measty two TD performance against Detroit. He also has several new tattoos on his left arm: three large “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” skulls accompanied by the words “Fear No Man,” and a dark script of his nickname, “Dat Boy.” See, Sellers doesn’t fear the gays. Joe Gibbs and his band of parking lot degenerates could learn something.