KLEARINGHOUSE: Patrick Peterson Celebrates New Contract With Crying Emojis

07.30.14 3 years ago 30 Comments



Patrick Peterson and the Cardinals agreed to a five-year contract extension worth $70 million, but really actually worth $48 million because that’s what’s guaranteed. Nevertheless, it allows Peterson to call himself the highest paid cornerback in the league. New contract in hand, it didn’t take Peterson long to further stoke the very public pissing match between he and Richard Sherman over who is actually the best corner in the NFL.

Rest assured, Sherman would never stoop to taking such obvious bait. Ha ha J/K, he quickly responded to Peterson’s subtweet with a picture of his Super Bowl ring. An obvious move, yet undeniably an effective one.

— Among those who have reportedly submit bids to purchase the Buffalo Bills: Bon Jovi, Donald Trump, the owner of the Buffalo Sabres and the owner of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Definitely in favor of the PBR option. The Bills will be the team of every broke, drunk college kid the nation over.

— Drew Brees practicing his accuracy by throwing at tossed frisbees. Brees is probably too nice, but I’d like a more dickish quarterback to do this with bros playing ultimate frisbee in the park.

— Manziel finally brought his drinking talents to the Cleveland bar scene. Good to ingratiate yourself to the locals but I’d like to see Manziel get trashed somewhere where he’ll get called “Johnny Rookie Bitch”.

Stem cells: not just for Peyton Manning anymore!

— Dave McKenna takes a break from ripping on Dan Snyder to write about how the former coach of T.C. Williams High School depicted in Remember the Titans might not be the heroic figure of racial progress that the movie makes him out to be.

— Jarvis Jones bristles at the notion that he needs Joey Porter to make him tougher. Is that right? PEEZY GONE FIX THAT MOUF for popping off to the press.

— Connor Barwin filled the Eagles’ linebackers’ room at camp with teammates’ faces inserted into classical portraits, plus himself as Cosmo Kramer. Chip Kelly Year 1: personalized smoothies. Chip Kelly Year 2: personalized art jokes.

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