Ray Rice claims it’s the alcohol that made him beat the ever-loving shit out of his then-fiancee in a casino elevator. So he’s sworn off alcohol. Actually that’s not true. He’s still drinking wine but the hard liquor had to go. Because no one has ever done anything wrong while being wine drunk. Rice has also reportedly gotten into religion in the last few months because of course.
— TMZ claims to know the identity of the NFL employee who said on the voicemail given to the AP that the league had received the Ray Rice video. So best of luck to that employee in future endeavors because all it’s going to do is get her fired.
— Browns punter Spencer Lanning got so many tweets about getting jump stomped in the face by Antonio Brown that he deleted the Twitter app from his phone. He also says Brown is full of shit about claiming to have spoken to him after the game, but at this point, he just wants to move on.
— It’s a big day for an NFL owner or two to anonymously express concern about Goodell to access journalists.
— Roger Goodell is reportedly adamant he won’t resign in the wake of fucking everything up ever.
— Goodell was at the Masters sporting a green jacket the day the Ray Rice video arrived at NFL offices. So apparently his excuse will be “sorry, didn’t watch the video, I was too busy doing rich people shit.”
— Microsoft paid the NFL $400 million this past off-season to make the Surface the official tablet of the league. Yet TV announcers are still always referring to them as iPads. THAT’S BAD BRAND DISCIPLINE, ANNOUNCERS!
— Devon Still, the player the Bengals kept on the practice squad so he could pay for his daughter’s cancer treatments, has had his jerseys sell better than any other in team history. Even better than Carl Pickens? I won’t believe it.
— Sean Payton bought 100 Devon Still jerseys for charity. According to this write-up “rivalries in the NFL can always be set aside for a good cause.” Ah, the fierce Bengals-Saints rivalry. Always fighting over who has the rights to Who Dey/Who Dat.
— Joe Flacco’s receivers are robbing him of eliteness!
Joe Flacco lost 110 yards in the air through drops, highest in the league in Week 1
— Pro Football Focus (@PFF) September 10, 2014